Paul's Putting A Face On Suicide poster will go to the fair with me I'll be signing books from ten to four tomorrow at the Ventura County Book Fair, and I'll read about ten minutes at 1:30 pm. The fair will be held in Camarillo California at the The Pleasant Valley Community Park Auditorium, 1605 Burnley Street. So I'd love to see my Los Angeles, Ventura, and Santa Barbara county friends there. But just in case you can't make it, here are a couple of the poems I plan to read from my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On. You might have read them here before, but for me they are timeless. My Jazzman My jazzman beat it out on the mighty eighty-eights, played those riffs, tapped his feet bent his head down to the keys, felt those sounds on his fingertips. Yeah, he was a hot man on those eighty-eights. But all too soon his bag grew dark. He went down, deep down. My jazzman played the blues, lost that spark, closed the lid. And, yeah, you got it right, quit the … [Read more...]
Midweek Work Progress Report
This week has been very productive. I've sent off my second piece for the PsychAlive website, and I got word from the editor that it's ready to go live. The piece is called Comforting Those Who Grieve. I'm still awaiting word from my Savvy Over 60 editor about when my November piece for them will be up. I also started working on a piece for a new blog I'm interested in called, Heartache to Healing, founded by grief coach, author, and speaker, JoAnne Funch. Hopefully, the piece will be good enough that I'll be allowed to contribute there once in a while as well. And I started working on my speech that I'm scheduled to make on November 19 for our local chapter of the American Association of University Women. It was suggested I talk about the mental health and suicide prevention services available in our area. I'll do that and expand the speech to tell my story of healing after my son's suicide that I describe in my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On. And surprise, surprise, I … [Read more...]
Happy Halloween
Beach Witch A well-satisfied witch enjoying the people walking along the beach front. Cheers! … [Read more...]
Family Ties
I'm looking forward to my sister's visit this weekend. She lives in the northwest, and we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, but she does come once in while especially to visit her daughter who lives near me. Sheila and I are nine years apart in age. She always says, "I'm the baby." I expect I'll be hearing that when I'm 99 and she's 90. But, it's all good. When she was born I got to help take care of her. It was like playing with a real live baby doll. And of course as we grew up, she and I became closer and closer - except geographically - because our age difference didn't matter anymore. This weekend we're having a girl's night out to see "So You Think You Can Dance" with her daughter and our cousin. I've never seen the show but Sheila says it will be terrific. (I'll let you know what I think next week.) Here's Sheila. The Baby The Sibs, Madeline, Sheila, and Kenny - a couple years before Kenny died in 2008. … [Read more...]
Welcome to the Internet Book Fair Blogfest
I'm excited to participate in today's Internet Blogfest. Please click on the link and join in. Scroll down a bit to find a list of all the participants. I have three books to present today. First, a little something about my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On Leaving the Hall Light On is a mother's memoir of living with my son's bipolar disorder and surviving his suicide. Published by Lucky Press LLC, a small independent and wonderful press, it was released last May. so appropriately on Mother's Day. I write about finding peace and balance after feeling so helpless and out of control during my son Paul's seven-year struggle with bipolar disorder and after his suicide in September 1999 and about the steps I took in living with the loss of my son, including making use of diversions to help ease my grief. Leaving the Hall Light On is also about the milestones I met toward living a full life without him: packing and giving … [Read more...]
Book marketing – is there ever enough?
Okay, I'm on to another marketing project. I was overwhelmed and indeed impressed by the numbers of blogs Jessica Bell is going to visit during her two-week book launch blog tour for her soon to-be-released, String Bridge. And that got me thinking I hadn't visited nearly enough blogs at the time of my book launch. I visited one blog a day for about three weeks, and she's going to have interviews and reviews on up to seven or eight blogs a day for two weeks. Plus she's going to have a whole lot of these same folks and more hit Amazon on the day of the book's release. Now that's using the network to the fullest, I would say. With my friend Susan at my book launch with Ben in the background I asked her how she amassed such a list and she admitted it was a lot of work. She reads and comments on all the blogs on her list regularly. And that's why she felt she was justified in asking them to do this book marketing favor for her. I know that's true. Jessica visits and comments on … [Read more...]
Logo shirts and prickly cacti
I just came back from a retirement party for Gibby Gilbert, a graphic artist whom I had worked with for years at Northrop Grumman. He is a true character. He always did a great job even though he complained a lot and worried that we'd never get our work done on time for our proposal deadline. He was an incredible asset to any proposal he worked. And when he wasn't very busy he would walk up and down the halls, and if he had any news or gossip, he always stop by my office to clue me in. He also bought old logo shirts at thrift shops and wore a different one every day. At holiday time, his shirt was always very appropriate. So today we were asked to wear a logo shirt or a Hawaiian shirt, his second favorite kind of attire, in his honor. (I wore a bowling shirt I bought to wear to a fifties bowling party a few years ago - the team logo is on the back and the name of the bowler, Frank, is on the front.) Gibby says now that he's retiring he's going to give them all back to the thrift … [Read more...]
Early Sunday morning meetings and a poem
Seagulls meeting on the sand Another group about a mile north Quit Procrastinating There are just too many distractions To tempt me away from my work It's like having A devil on my shoulder Saying, just a minute longer, What harm could another minute do? Early on when I first retired I thought I'd spend hours In front of the TV Eating bad-for-me snacks And I'd blow up like A bird on pasta. But it's not TV And the chocolate bon-bons, It's not curling up on the sofa With the latest romance That turn my head. It's email, It's Facebook It's the blog world That stop me from completing my daily writing tasks. Who would have thunk an old lady like me Could have her head turned By technology? … [Read more...]
Heat wave reprieve
Today is the hottest day we've had this year, and it's way beyond the end of summer. Though I'm staying inside our well-insulated house and keeping quite cool, I still can't help longing for a nice long walk along the ocean. As a substitute I've picked out a few photos I took of our beautiful Manhattan Beach shoreline this past year, and I plan to revisit it tomorrow morning before the sun comes up. View of the pier from The Strand The rocks at the north end On The Strand before full light Ready for the game … [Read more...]
I’m a new volunteer and I love it
I have a new job on Monday afternoons. I'm a volunteer administrator for the Facebook page: Putting a Face on Suicide [PAFOS]. I blogged a bit about this project last June but it doesn't hurt to tell you all again and again about it. I think it is just that powerful. Otherwise, I wouldn't be spending eight hours on a Monday afternoon volunteering to keep the sight up and running and very user friendly. People who have experienced a suicide of a loved one are hurting. PAFOS is a place to put that hurt and to keep the memory of their loved ones alive. It is not, however, a place to go if you are suicidal yourself. If you are in distress call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800 273-TALK. The mission of PAFOS states: Every 40 seconds somewhere around the world someone dies by suicide, that's 99 people every 66 minutes. PAFOS is an ongoing project soliciting pictures of your loved ones who died by suicide. Each 99 pictures will be used in a poster and a video, roughly … [Read more...]
So how many more "acts" do I have left?
This has been a busy week. First thing Monday morning I received a note from my publisher, Lucky Press LLC, that it will submit my book to the ForeWord independent book award competition in January with awards are announced in June. That email definitely got my attention and my imagination percolating about what it must feel like to receive a book award. Next I received a call from a member of our local American Association of University Women inviting me to speak at its November meeting on the subject of my memoir Leaving the Hall Light On. One of my former work colleagues suggested me. I'll be expected to speak for about an hour, including time for questions and answers. And, needless to say I happily accepted. We discussed topics and settled on: 1) local help for mental illness and suicide prevention, and 2) how I used writing to help me survive after my son's suicide. Of course writing or any other creative outlet can help assuage grief from any kind of trauma or loss. I … [Read more...]
The question of the day: Should I have hand carried my book material to Australia vs. relied on our postal services
The Survivors of Suicide Event in Queensland Australia https://www.facebook.com/pages/Survivors-of-Suicide-Bereavement-Support-Association-Inc-SOSBSA/164602631156 This has got to be one of most frustrating days. I got a note from one of the Jennifers in Australia that the package containing my flyers, bookmarks, and a copy of my books that I sent for their October 9 Survivors of Suicide Bereavement Support Association Inc. Mourning Tea event had not yet arrived. And I sent it out on September 9. After checking with our post office, by phone, online, and in person and with the customs office, I found out there was no way to track the package since it was sent without a tracking code my mistake. Of course who would have thunk that the package wouldn't arrive after three weeks? So my next thought was to resend the entire package by Fed Ex overnight. I thought, no worries. Overnight Fed Ex would take care of it. I went to Kinkos Fed Ex to make more copies of my flyer. And then I got … [Read more...]
Pirates and book sales – any connection?
October started out with a bang and a trip via the Catalina Express to Two Harbors for Lisa Smyth's pirate birthday party. This was Buccaneer Days on the island and everyone came in costume. Lisa won the prize with seven costume changes. Bob and I bought pirate hats and he got a swashbuckler's black velvet coat with brass buttons, while I mostly commandeered stuff hanging in my closet to bring for the festivities. Needless to say many people we met enjoyed themselves with their brains thoroughly adjusted by pirate's rum. I stuck with my usual red wine. The Birthday Wench As you can see the Two Harbors (formerly called Isthmus) village of Catalina is almost barren one hotel, one restaurant and bar, lots of camp grounds, boating and other water activities, about 300 locals, and lots of buffalos left over from an old Tom Mix movie. It was absolutely beautiful this past weekend. Gorgeous Harbor And now that that not-to-be-missed experience is over it's back to work and … [Read more...]
It’s not always about me
It's time to get out of the funk. It's time to concentrate on my writing work the thing I always turn to get me out of the deep mud. Last week I began working on my novel again and I'm fulfilling my goal of writing about 300 words a day. That's just about enough since I still am writing my own blog plus pieces for other sites. I just love having so much writing work to do. I can't think of a better way for me to spend my time. But my life isn't all about work. Last weekend we saw Mozart's Cos Fan Tutte (Women Are All Alike). It is categorized as opera buppa comical opera. And it fits that definition perfectly. The most comical parts for me were the five characters singing all at once but singing different words with Mozart's brilliant score keeping up with them. The plot is hysterical though at times uncomfortable. The two main male characters are convinced that they must test their lover's fidelity, but in finding out that the women, who are all alike, can be enticed to be … [Read more...]
September 23 is never a good day
Paul, 1992 - before bipolar This is probably my worst day of the year. It's Paul's death day. And today it is twelve years since he died. I've been up since 4:30 this morning, not even able to sleep in to my usual 5:30 or 6:00. I finally got up around 5:30 and went to the gym. That I worked out was a good thing. Working up a good sweat is always cleansing. I also did a couple of things I've been meaning to do for a long time. I replaced his photo we've had fading on our mantle for the last twelve years with a new vibrantly colored copy. And, after Bob and I went to visit Paul's grave this morning, we stopped into the cemetery's administrative office to make sure his gravestone is cleaned before our next planned visit on his birthday, December 31. Today, we saw a very dirty stone with grass growing over it. Still, as is our tradition, we each left a stone. Other than that I am just hanging out not doing much of anything. Not able to concentrate very well. But I didn't … [Read more...]
Welcome, Kathy Handley, author of Birds of Paradise
I am so pleased to host Kathy Handley today on her WOW Women on Writing Blog tour and chat with her about her novel Birds of Paradise. Her subject matter is sad and powerful about homeless teenagers in Hollywood California. Here is a brief synopsis: When trucker Joe-Mack picks up a runaway in Vegas and drops him in Hollywood, he offers to help him. When the call comes, he reaches out to the boy and becomes embroiled in Freddie's life along with Starlet, the homeless girl who desires stardom. The three have in common a search for love and for a place to belong. Set in California's beautiful, yet challenging neighborhoods, the characters, like lost Birds of Paradise, take on risks and maintain thin threads of dignity amidst troubling situations with surprising twists along the way. A recent reviewer said: I read Birds of Paradise while on vacation in L.A.-- the perfect place to experience Kathy Handley's powerful portraits of young street people lost and found. … [Read more...]
Company is coming tomorrow
I'm excited to interview Kathy Handley here tomorrow while she's on her WOW Women on Writing blog tour. Kathy is the author of Birds of Paradise and A World of Love and Envy (short fiction, flash-fiction, and poetry). Birds of Paradise Front Cover What is most exciting about Kathy and her newly published writing is that she, like I, started her writing career late in life. She was seventy-one years old when her novel, Birds of Paradise was released. For more information about Kathy and her work, click on these websites. Kathryn Handley's Website: www.kathyhandley.com Publisher's Website: www.riverhavenbooks.com Hashtag: #BirdsParadise And please join me here tomorrow to read what she has to say about her books, her writing career, and what she is most passionate about now. … [Read more...]
September dreams and wishes
As it gets closer to the anniversary of Paul's death day, my dreams about him become more vivid. It's happened like this for twelve years. I also think about all the things he's missed in all that time. Here are a few poems on those subjects written in years past and photos in his memory. Wishing Dreams I used to think when I dreamed about him He was near. That if I reached out far enough I could touch him. That if I looked hard enough I could see him. Last night The tears streaming out of his eyes Were so real I could taste them And I knew They were mine. Paul's Bench September 23, 2002 The phone rang once Startling me awake From a deep sleep I jumped out of bed to answer it Knocking over the Waterford Crystal perfume bottle On the way. And to naught There was no one on the line. I looked over at the clock Only 5 a.m. but I was up for This day, September 23, 2002, The third anniversary of Paul's death A day that I dreaded for so long And all I could … [Read more...]
Thank you for sharing my memory of Paul
A big thank you to all of you who have donated and/or signed up to join me on September 25 for the Didi Hirsch annual suicide prevention Alive and Running 5K. Now that I'm on the 5K committee I was asked to set a fundraising goal. And at the outset I set my goal only at $500. But thanks to you I just upped it to $1000.00 and I'm only $48.00 short of reaching that because so many of you responded to my Ask. Just to give you a little background, I first discovered Didi Hirsch after Paul died. My husband and I participated in their eight-week Survivors after Suicide workshop. And as depressing as those sessions were, they had a lasting effect on me. I also found out that as horrific a story of loss as mine was, it could always be worse. I also reconnected with a person I've known since grade school in Glencoe, IL through my involvement with Didi Hirsch. Stan Lelewer's son killed himself about six years before Paul, and when he heard about Paul through a mutual friend he was … [Read more...]
