In my writing class this week, we were assigned a prompt to write about how to be a successful crone - you know the little old lady who lives alone but can totally take control of her life: her finances, her social life, her living situation, her everyday activities. I liked that prompt and wrote this: I came into my age of croneness when my husband of over fifty years became ill and died. It all happened very suddenly and hit me very hard. I had to make a million decisions without him almost right away: getting used to living without him, traveling without him, sleeping without him, not cooking for him, working without him. And I especially missed having our intellectual work-related conversations. That he couldn’t participate any more left me more than alone and lonely. It left me without the love of my life. I also had to learn to manage my financial life even though Bob called me innumerate. I formed relationships with our financial advisor and tax accountant, made the … [Read more...]
Letting Go
Hello. Sorry for the long delay. It's been a busy holiday season. And during that time I resurrected some past writings - especially about my mother. The one I'm posting here today is not very uplifting or loving, but I thought it perfectly depicts the relationship she and I had through the years. Maybe I'll post a happier one next time. Here goes: Letting Go In the last days of her life, my mother looked like a skeleton with yellowish gray skin, sunken chest, and bony shoulders, legs, and arms. Her hands and arms had huge red-and-blue bruises like mottled granite in sporadic blotches. Her lips were dry, cracked, and peeling. Her mouth was crooked as she labored in deep rapid breaths. Her sparse hair stuck up. She lay on her side in the fetal position with her eyes and mouth half open and her hands clutching the bars at the side of her bed. As she intertwined her fingers around the bars, I could see her nails like claws, badly needed a manicure—the silk wraps had … [Read more...]
A little bragging is in order
Since my new historical novel, Papa's Shoes, was published by Aberdeen Bay about a month and a half ago, it has received some fabulous reviews. And even a few requests for a sequel - stay tuned about that. Here are three five-star examples: A Love Story with Acceptance, written by Lisa. Oh my goodness, I enjoyed reading this book so much. The story line starts with Ira, father & husband, and his journey of leaving Poland to make a life for his family in the United States of America. Once in America, as he is saving money to bring his wife and sons to join him, he receives news that all but one son died of the plague. Ugh! He returns and takes care of business then returns to America with his wife left to raise their remaining son and the baby on the way. Ruth, his wife, mails a pink string to Ira once Ava is born. When enough funds allow, Ira sends for Ruth, Charlie (their oldest son), and Ava. This is when the story shifts from one of Ira and Ruth to that of Charlie and … [Read more...]
What else is happening in May?
This month is full of happenings, especially family ones. May 4 would have been my brother-in-law’s 79th birthday. Today would have been my dad’s 115th birthday though he only lived to be 72. They both died of cancer. Of course, next Sunday, May 13, is Mother’s Day, though I also commemorated Bereaved Mother’s Day yesterday, in memory of our son Paul who left us almost 19 years ago. And after that is my birthday on May 20, and Bob and my 48th anniversary on May 28. … [Read more...]
Here’s what’s been going on
As soon as I finished my four-week consulting job, I had to get ready for my husband's hip replacement surgery. That is get my head in gear for the stress of waiting for results, the driving back and forth to the hospital, and then caring for him once he got home. We're at the third stage now. The surgery went very well it only lasted one hour and he was released from the hospital after a two-night stay. I not only brought him home, I also brought a cold and compression machine to aid in his healing process. Plus we are proud owners of a brand-new walker. The first day he was feeling pretty puny, but once he started to take his prescription strength ibuprofen, he was back to his feisty self. So feisty that he abandoned his walker sometime during his first night home while I was sleeping and began hobbling around on his own two feet. Needless to say I had to insist on the walker the next morning. It enables him to walk straight and tall at a regular clip, and I don't have … [Read more...]
Poetry Pact Blogfest – About family feuds
I've been surrounded by family feuds almost all my life. My father never spoke to two of his brother-in-laws, and he refused to talk about it or respond to my mother's pleas to make amends with his enemies. There were reasons, there were always reasons, mostly having to do with money and business. These family feuds caused a lot of strain and crying in our family. My mother had to see her brothers and their families on her own, and that wasn't easy in the 1950s and 1960s when she couldn't even drive a car. Sometimes my dad would drive her to see them and sit outside with a tightly shut mouth and his arms tightly folded across his chest until she was through visiting. Later on in my generation, my brother's wife decided she didn't want to speak to me for while. I never knew why, and thankfully we've kissed and made up. She also stopped speaking to her sister for a time as well. My brother didn't speak to his brother-in-law either. I never could understand that kind of behavior. … [Read more...]
New traditions for our 2011 holidays
Now that I've ordered our Thanksgiving turkey, I've started to think about the holidays. They are always hard for me since we don't have Paul with us, but this year's Thanksgiving will be different and I suspect very wonderful. We're sharing it with our daughter-in-law Marissa's family. Everyone will come to our house and bring their Thanksgiving specialty dish to share. I'm the turkey, gravy, stuffing, and cranberries person. The rest is up to our ten guests. I can't wait to try some new foods, get to know my new family better, and perhaps start a new Thanksgiving tradition. A friend of mine recently sent me this piece about ways to change our holiday gift giving traditions. I think there are a lot of good ideas here. If you agree, please share them with your family and friends. Maybe we can show we care about each other in a whole new way this year. The Holidays 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high … [Read more...]
Family Ties
I'm looking forward to my sister's visit this weekend. She lives in the northwest, and we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, but she does come once in while especially to visit her daughter who lives near me. Sheila and I are nine years apart in age. She always says, "I'm the baby." I expect I'll be hearing that when I'm 99 and she's 90. But, it's all good. When she was born I got to help take care of her. It was like playing with a real live baby doll. And of course as we grew up, she and I became closer and closer - except geographically - because our age difference didn't matter anymore. This weekend we're having a girl's night out to see "So You Think You Can Dance" with her daughter and our cousin. I've never seen the show but Sheila says it will be terrific. (I'll let you know what I think next week.) Here's Sheila. The Baby The Sibs, Madeline, Sheila, and Kenny - a couple years before Kenny died in 2008. … [Read more...]
My role model
Here is my Aunt Helen, age 94. Isn't she beautiful? She's always been my role model. I love her energy and her calm demeanor. And in her youth she looked like Hedy Lamar. Aunt Helen with two of her greats at the family wedding we attended last weekend in San Diego. … [Read more...]
