After reading this guest blog post, you'll wonder where the Blooms were when you needed them the most. They are experts on how couples can avoid arguing. And I am so pleased to host them on their WOW! Women on Writing blog tour of their new book, An End to Arguing. They have also graciously created a wonderful list of tips about listening - an essential tool when trying to avoid arguing. Hopefully you'll all still be able to benefit from their advice. Here are the Bloom's and their 16 tips. The Art of Committed Listening: 16 Practical tips to become a champion listener-402 by Linda and Charlie Bloom Relationships thrive when both partners practice committed listening. When we allow ourselves to be penetrated by each other’s words and feelings, it’s not simply a matter of receiving information, but of allowing ourselves to be informed by it. When we are able to hear and accept our partner’s feelings and needs our attention moves from concerns about ourselves to … [Read more...]
Living the life of an old crone
In my writing class this week, we were assigned a prompt to write about how to be a successful crone - you know the little old lady who lives alone but can totally take control of her life: her finances, her social life, her living situation, her everyday activities. I liked that prompt and wrote this: I came into my age of croneness when my husband of over fifty years became ill and died. It all happened very suddenly and hit me very hard. I had to make a million decisions without him almost right away: getting used to living without him, traveling without him, sleeping without him, not cooking for him, working without him. And I especially missed having our intellectual work-related conversations. That he couldn’t participate any more left me more than alone and lonely. It left me without the love of my life. I also had to learn to manage my financial life even though Bob called me innumerate. I formed relationships with our financial advisor and tax accountant, made the … [Read more...]
What do you have to brag about?
Choices is happy to host MARLA J. ALBERTIE'S WOW! WOMEN ON WRITING TOUR OF: The Ultimate Brag Book About Yourself Book Summary Can you imagine all the things you like, love, and adore in one book? All your favorites captured at one time with space to write more. So, why did I write this book? How often do we brag about ourselves, take time to think about what makes us happy, or do the things we like? If I had to guess, not as often as you would like. This book has been on my heart for years and I am finally getting it out to the world. You deserve to brag about yourself, so why not? Not only is this a bragging book, but it is a book of ideas you can use to start your next project, business, career move, or anything your heart desires. So how does it work? Each topic/list has a “number” to reach because the goal is to get you to stretch your thinking. Need more space? Don’t worry, there are extra lines per number so you can add more and there are extra pages in … [Read more...]
Letting Go
Hello. Sorry for the long delay. It's been a busy holiday season. And during that time I resurrected some past writings - especially about my mother. The one I'm posting here today is not very uplifting or loving, but I thought it perfectly depicts the relationship she and I had through the years. Maybe I'll post a happier one next time. Here goes: Letting Go In the last days of her life, my mother looked like a skeleton with yellowish gray skin, sunken chest, and bony shoulders, legs, and arms. Her hands and arms had huge red-and-blue bruises like mottled granite in sporadic blotches. Her lips were dry, cracked, and peeling. Her mouth was crooked as she labored in deep rapid breaths. Her sparse hair stuck up. She lay on her side in the fetal position with her eyes and mouth half open and her hands clutching the bars at the side of her bed. As she intertwined her fingers around the bars, I could see her nails like claws, badly needed a manicure—the silk wraps had … [Read more...]
Resistance
Every time I meet with one of my writing groups I get an interesting and challenging prompt. This last week's prompt was: What is something I resist. What am I doing when I resist? And here is what I came up with. Needless to say, it's connected to my recent bicycle accident which is still very much on my mind. As much as I try to stop thinking about it it doesn't go away. I call it Resistance Just after the man on the bicycle ran over me and I was taken to the ER and later in the day to the ICU, I resisted seeing any of the people who wanted to call and visit me. At that point I could barely talk – not even to my son Ben who was in the room with me most of the time. I just wanted to lay in bed in my hospital gown, covered with bandages all over my arms and the back of my head. I was sure no one wanted to see me like that so I did the best I could to prevent it. At those early times no one, including myself, was sure I had enough brain power to carry on a coherent conversation. … [Read more...]
A little family history
I've been thinking about writing family histories lately. The one written years ago by my husband is long out of date. Plus, other people have asked me to help them with theirs, so practicing up wouldn't be a bad thing. I was encouraged by a writing prompt I got in one of my writing groups last week. I think we all could relate to it. Here's the prompt: Imagine asking your mother and father about their past and what would they say? My husband Bob took on the task of writing a family history about both our families about thirty years ago. He looked at all the gray heads at a family gathering one day and decided he better ask them about their past before they were gone. He was quite logical about it. With some, he’d ask questions about where they came from and when they arrived in America and where they settled and what they did for work and how many children they had, and he recorded their answers on a little tape recorder. Others were willing to write their stories and provide … [Read more...]
Real life stories about letting life lead
Please welcome Kate Brenton on her WOW! Women on Writing tour of her first book, Rebirth. A brief summary tells us that when life is calling, often we need only the space and the support to remember our way. Sometimes we lean into our expansion, and sometimes we bolt from our greatness. The biggest shock is that big change happens in small choices. In Rebirth you will find real-life stories of people who made courageous leaps that will inspire you to make your own. It’s time to step out of line and back into the spiral of life—that’s where the alchemy is. This book fits right into the side pocket of your bag and your life to inspire you as you read others’ stories of how they listened and learned to make embodied changes in their own lives. Publisher: Inspirebytes Omni Media ISBN-10: 1953445261 ISBN-13: 978-1953445261 ASIN: B0B3V3JQT7 Print length: 278 pages Kate also shares her thoughts on mothering while working as a writer: Mothering, Writing, and Working in … [Read more...]
The man on the bike (Part 2)
This is the second part of my piece about being run over by a man on his bike. The first part appeared here on December 4, 2022. *** Those days in the hospital were pretty much of a blur. I mostly remember getting up and using a walker to go into the bathroom – with nurse assistance – and Ben being with me most of the time. I didn’t do much else other than lay in my bed – barely talking to anyone the entire time. Once I was in the regular room the doctor started talking about discharging me, but he refused to discharge me to my apartment at Fountainview with home health care there because of my wounded head. I needed to be in a place that had a medical staff to monitor my injury, treat my wounds, and give me regular physical and occupational therapy so that I’d be as strong as possible when I return to my apartment. They said my stay would be a one-week minimum, though it depended on how I progress. I reluctantly agreed, and I was moved to the California Rehabilitation … [Read more...]
The man on the bike
I was in a horrible accident about two and a half months ago which ended up putting me in the ER, ICU, hospital and rehab. The cause - though hard to believe - was a man on his bicycle running me down and giving me cuts and bruises on my body and a cracked head and brain bleed. The bottom line is that I've recovered almost completely with no residual after effects. I'm doing everything I used to do before the accident. What I'm trying to do now is write about the details of the accident. I've written six pages, but I only plan to share the first two pages here today. Please comment after you've read it. I'd love your feedback. With huge thanks. The Man on the Bike On Saturday, September 24, 2022, at about nine-thirty in the morning, I was walking back to my apartment in Playa Vista as usual. I had just about finished my daily ten thousand step walk and was ready to cross at Bluff Creek Drive and Westlawn, a corner I crossed every day, so I could reach my apartment entrance on … [Read more...]
The second anniversary of Bob’s death
Today is the second anniversary of my husband Bob's death. And leading up to this day I've done a lot of thinking about him - mostly about how much I miss him and need him. I also read through some letters I received from friends after he died. I'd like to share a couple with you. This first one is from Jack (Wizard) Doyle, my high school friend, Annie's, husband. Here are his beautiful and thoughtful words: Dear Madeline, I treasured my friendship with Bob. He was more than special; he was exceptional. Bob had the rare ability to relate to everyone he encountered. A common thread throughout his memorial service emphasized how well he connected with each individual be they a toddler, a new acquaintance or a skilled professional. Robert Sharples was a man of the keenest intellect, a man of constant curiosity who never stopped learning. He was a man of empathy who had the stature of a polymath to me. I too loved completing the Sunday LA Times crossword puzzle with Bob. … [Read more...]
Election poems
Although the election results are not yet final, the results now look a lot more favorable than the conspiracy theories the GOP predicted before November 8. I wrote a few poems about how Trump and his cronies behaved, and now I'm so glad I patiently awaited the real results. Here's some examples: The mid-term election day Is Tuesday November 8. And I’m scared that Trump And his crazy-minded Followers are going to Take over our congress – Both the house and The senate if we don’t Get enough Democrats Out to vote. We’ve had a record number of pre-voters already, but even if there are more Democrat than Republican votes, the MAGA folks will cry fraud – even before the polls close. We had a polling place here Last week and only fifty Out one thirty-five of our Residents came to vote. They just don’t seem To care about the outcome Or the majority of them Are forever Trumpers. I just can’t stand it. Now the GOP is suing To eliminate thousands Of mail in … [Read more...]
Get your heart racing with this book!
Choices is pleased to present the WOW! Women on Writing Blog Tour for: A Shadow of Love A Shadow of Love blog tour starts October 3rd and ends November 5th. Accompanying this tour announcement, author Amy S. Cutler has written an essay about writing a first draft. Something all of us authors work very hard to complete. Here's what Amy has to say: First draft process by Amy S Cutler Nicholas Sparks once said, “Writing the last page of the first draft is the most enjoyable moment in writing. It’s one of the most enjoyable moments in life, period.” This is so, so true. There is no feeling like getting to the end. Even knowing the hours of revising and editing that is lurking around the corner, finishing the first draft is liberating. There are SO many ways to tackle a first draft. There are pantsers and plotters and everyone in between. Some people outline and plot out every and turn, organizing either in a document, through a software program just for … [Read more...]
Three Dead Bugs
Ever since I moved to a senior retirement living situation I've participated in a memoir writing class. And I love it. Mostly I pick my own topics which I've posted here on occasion. However, I also like to respond to prompts others write in response to. Lately the prompt exciting most of the writers has been our first and/or favorite automobiles. Of course with that topic I also had to join in. Here's the piece I read to the class last week. Three Dead Bugs I had three bugs. I bought my first car, a Volkswagen bug, in 1961 so I could get to UCLA and back. And it served its purpose. Its old light blue body, built in 1957, cost me three hundred dollars, thanks to my father’s good negotiating skills. But unfortunately it died an accidental death. I had parked it on a hill, affixed the parking brake, which then failed and poor Bug Number One rolled down the hill and was smashed to smithereens when it hit the car at the end of the road. I figured the only way to get over … [Read more...]
A perfect October read
We are excited to announce the WOW! Women on Writing book blog tour with author Elizabeth Maria Naranjo and her book The House on Linden Way. The book is a ghost story with elements of horror and Gothic suspense - a perfect October read. Author Naranjo has shared her thoughts on novel writing. Here's her essay: 5 Tips for Getting Unstuck When Writing Your Novel by Elizabeth Maria Naranjo Writing a novel is a huge undertaking—it requires discipline, dedication, and heart. Yet no matter how much you prepare and how driven you are to succeed, at some point you’re going to get stuck. Here are five tips to jumpstart your creativity and get you through to the end Write by hand Facing a blank page is different from staring at a blank screen. On a page you can at least pretend you’re writing by scribbling, doodling, or drawing until your brain gets tricked into the process. With a screen you can’t do this, and there’s something about that blinking cursor that’s just … [Read more...]
Twenty-three years
To commemorate the twenty-third anniversary of my son Paul's suicide death, I'd like to tell you a bit about the memoir I wrote in his memory. It took eighteen years to write it and get it published, but it was all worth it. When it first came out, I thought if it helps just one person it will have been worth it. And from the comments and reviews the book has received it has helped way more people than that. The death of a child is the hardest thing a parent can ever go through, so knowing there are others out there with the same experience is a big help. Also I just heard from my publisher, Dream of Things, that in the last two years, my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother's Memoir of Living with Her Son's Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide, has sold more than seventy-one hundred copies. So it is still applicable and worth reading even after all this time. A few of its early accolades: "A moving read of tragedy, trying to prevent it, and coping with life … [Read more...]
This is suicide prevention month
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and so perfectly aligned yo my son Paul’s suicide death. He left us by box cutter on September 23, 1999, twenty-three years ago. And ever since I’ve wanted to help save others from that same fate. I wrote my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On, with that in mind, telling the story of my son and his mental illness and creativity and the long line of relatives who were also mentally ill – all signs that suicide was on his menu. I want people to be aware of the dangers and risks. I've participated in two overnight suicide prevention walks, sponsored by the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP), and joined groups geared to getting the suicide prevention word out. This month AFSP is asking for funds to support 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and of course trying to get folks to rally in support of suicide prevention. "About National Suicide Prevention Week "The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) recognizes the month … [Read more...]
Aviation author writes about Moral Fibre
Helena P. Schrader as written Moral Fibre, a story of just one bomber pilot, his crew, and the woman he loved, which I guarantee, you will also love. Please welcome her to Choices today while she's on her WOW! Women on Writing book tour. Helena has also written a guest post about writing and how your usual so-called finished product is really just your first draft. I too am certain about that. My historical novel, Papa's Shoes, went through ten drafts before I called it finished. Here's Helena: The Author and the Seven Drafts By Helena P. Schrader Writing a book is a lengthy process with many stages. Quite aside from the preparatory phases involving inspiration and research, the actual writing is also a multi-faceted process -- and writing "the end" on a manuscript for the first time is in many ways only the beginning. It is nothing but the first step towards turning a finished manuscript into a book ready for publication. Let me explain this in a … [Read more...]
Memoir class prompts
I've been attending a memoir class for almost a year at my new senior living community. I love the class and have written some interesting essays as a result. I thought I'd share a couple of recent ones with my readers. One prompt was to write about a best friend. My response was this: A First Best Friend Early during my Swift Elementary grammar school years I met Phyllis. She lived down the block from me at a residential hotel – the Sovereign – on Kenmore Avenue in the northside of Chicago. She was tall, had short curly blonde hair, and a pale complexion. In those days I had long dark brown hair and I was short, chubby, and olive skinned. But that didn’t stop me and Phyllis from becoming friends. I had to walk right by her hotel to go to school, so I would pick her up and we would walk together. Two other girls in our class – Vicky and Lynn – also lived at the Sovereign, and although we were friendly with them, we didn’t invite them to walk with us. Phyllis lived with her … [Read more...]
Reckless Grace: a new and important memoir
Let's welcome Carolyn diPasquale who's on a WOW! Women on Writing tour with her new memoir, Reckless Grace: A Mother's Crash Course in Mental Illness. And Carolyn has generously written an essay for us about whether women can age with grace. Here's Carolyn: Can Women Age with Grace? “Your hair is so attractive. What color do you use?” a woman standing behind me in Dunkin’ Donuts asked when I was in my early forties. “Thank you,” I smiled, “but I don’t color my hair. This is natural.” Her eyes grew. “Really?” My takeaway from that exchange was that I looked old: My hair didn’t match my face. When I was in my fifties, portly silver-haired gents started checking me out. This took me aback as I used to attract the hotties. It also proved that brunette hair or not I was looking my age. My mind might have sidestepped these gentle cues. At sixty and still without one gray, I was waiting in line at a phlebotomy clinic when an elderly woman shuffled in. I let the white-haired, … [Read more...]
