This past Saturday morning I spoke at a meeting of our local chapter of the American Association of University Women (AAUW). And as usual, after all my stressing about it and worry that I would totally mess up, my talk went very well. I was on stage for forty-five minutes speaking about my writing background, local organizations that provide mental illness and suicide prevention help, how I used writing to get me through the grief of losing a son to suicide, and how I created my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On from my journals, poetry manuscript, and writing workshop pieces. I also read two prose pieces and two poems from the book. I never thought I could hold forth for so long. In fact, when the program chairperson called to set up my presentation we decided to give the group a writing exercise if I didn't have enough to say in the time I was allotted. Although I had my cheat sheets in front of me and just needed to glance down on them from time to time to make sure I was … [Read more...]
Ventura County Book Fair
Paul's Putting A Face On Suicide poster will go to the fair with me I'll be signing books from ten to four tomorrow at the Ventura County Book Fair, and I'll read about ten minutes at 1:30 pm. The fair will be held in Camarillo California at the The Pleasant Valley Community Park Auditorium, 1605 Burnley Street. So I'd love to see my Los Angeles, Ventura, and Santa Barbara county friends there. But just in case you can't make it, here are a couple of the poems I plan to read from my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On. You might have read them here before, but for me they are timeless. My Jazzman My jazzman beat it out on the mighty eighty-eights, played those riffs, tapped his feet bent his head down to the keys, felt those sounds on his fingertips. Yeah, he was a hot man on those eighty-eights. But all too soon his bag grew dark. He went down, deep down. My jazzman played the blues, lost that spark, closed the lid. And, yeah, you got it right, quit the … [Read more...]
I’m a new volunteer and I love it
I have a new job on Monday afternoons. I'm a volunteer administrator for the Facebook page: Putting a Face on Suicide [PAFOS]. I blogged a bit about this project last June but it doesn't hurt to tell you all again and again about it. I think it is just that powerful. Otherwise, I wouldn't be spending eight hours on a Monday afternoon volunteering to keep the sight up and running and very user friendly. People who have experienced a suicide of a loved one are hurting. PAFOS is a place to put that hurt and to keep the memory of their loved ones alive. It is not, however, a place to go if you are suicidal yourself. If you are in distress call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800 273-TALK. The mission of PAFOS states: Every 40 seconds somewhere around the world someone dies by suicide, that's 99 people every 66 minutes. PAFOS is an ongoing project soliciting pictures of your loved ones who died by suicide. Each 99 pictures will be used in a poster and a video, roughly … [Read more...]
September dreams and wishes
As it gets closer to the anniversary of Paul's death day, my dreams about him become more vivid. It's happened like this for twelve years. I also think about all the things he's missed in all that time. Here are a few poems on those subjects written in years past and photos in his memory. Wishing Dreams I used to think when I dreamed about him He was near. That if I reached out far enough I could touch him. That if I looked hard enough I could see him. Last night The tears streaming out of his eyes Were so real I could taste them And I knew They were mine. Paul's Bench September 23, 2002 The phone rang once Startling me awake From a deep sleep I jumped out of bed to answer it Knocking over the Waterford Crystal perfume bottle On the way. And to naught There was no one on the line. I looked over at the clock Only 5 a.m. but I was up for This day, September 23, 2002, The third anniversary of Paul's death A day that I dreaded for so long And all I could … [Read more...]
Please join me on September 25 in the race for life
Every 15 minutes, someone loses their life by suicide in the United States. In addition, for every suicide, it is estimated there are 25 suicide attempts. Many individuals -- maybe even your loved one, friend, neighbor, or colleague -- suffer from severe emotional pain in silence. In that moment when a person in crisis needs someone to listen and respond, Didi Hirsch's Suicide Prevention Center is here to help. In fact, more than 40,000 women, men and young people turned to its 24-hour Crisis Line last year. Our son Paul's photo will be on the banner this year You can help save lives by supporting Didi Hirsch's 13th annual Alive & Running 5K Walk/Run for Suicide Prevention. The event will be held on Sunday, September 25, 2011 at La Tijera Parkway in Los Angeles. More than 1,100 runners, walkers, strollers and friends and volunteers from all over Southern California will join together at Alive & Running to raise awareness and funding for suicide prevention … [Read more...]
Radio interview report
My first radio interview, on Smart Women Talk Radio, started at eight in the morning Pacific time last Tuesday, July 5. I called in and talked to the producer, and then the co-hosts, Katana Abbott and Vicky Trabosh came on for a little off-the-air chat. They explained they would talk amongst themselves for the first few minutes of the show, introduce me, and then we'd do the interview - like having a conversation, they said. Five minutes before the hour was up, they'd say goodbye to me and finish the show. So in all, I'd say I was on the air about forty-two minutes. They had asked for questions in advance, so I was very prepared with my answers to the ten I provided. In fact I had my notes up at the ready on my computer screen. However, the interview turned out to be pretty much off the cuff. And like the interview I had for the article in my local Beach Reporter newspaper, that was just fine with me since I know my material cold. I listened to the recording this morning. and it … [Read more...]
Putting a Face on Suicide
The Facebook Putting a Face on Suicide is a personal project of Mike Purcell done in collaboration with the American Association of Suicidology. Mike's son 21 year old Christopher Lee Purcell, died by suicide in 2008. www.facebook.com/purcellmemorial As Mike states: every 15 minutes someone dies by suicide in the United States, that's 96 or so people each day. Putting a Face on Suicide [PAFOS] is an ongoing project soliciting pictures of your loved ones who died by suicide. Each 96 pictures will be used in a poster and a video, representing one day's loss. The posters and videos will be posted on the PAFOS facebook page and may be freely used by any person or organization to promote suicide awareness and prevention. The goal of PAFOS is to collect 35040 faces representing 365 days of loss, and then to visually send a very powerful 35040 faced message. Please go to http://www.facebook.com/puttingafaceonsuicide?sk=wall to see the faces gathered so far. So far four videos have … [Read more...]
WOW blog tour stop No. 7
You must visit CMash Loves to Read my WOW blog tour stop No. 7. The layout is just beautiful. Cheryl Mash reviews books and provides giveaways. She is offering, through WOW-Women on Writing, a pdf copy of my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On. To learn more and to read today's post, Using Memoir Writing to Deal with Grief go to: http://cmashlovestoread.blogspot.com/2011/06/guest-author-madeline-sharples.html If you want a chance to win a copy of the book, click on the giveaway tab and post a comment. Cheryl has caringly suggested all who read her blog today and who comment learn more about bipolar disorder and know that: More than 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year, most leaving behind grieving families. Teenagers make up 5,000 of this group. Many thanks to Women on Writing www.womenonwriting.com for connecting me with Cheryl Mash and her wonderful blog, CMash Loves To Read. … [Read more...]
Book launch and signing – a huge success
The launch party for Leaving the Hall Light On at Pages: a bookstore in Manhattan Beach CA last night was a huge success. People from all parts of my life attended: high school friends, former work colleagues, neighbors, friends from the Los Angeles area and Las Vegas, Ojai, San Diego, and Oakland, and many family members. In addition people came as a result of a wonderful article about my book in our neighborhood newspaper, "The Beach Reporter": http://www.tbrnews.com/articles/2011/05/12/stepping_out/step3.txt. The room was filled to the brim with standing room only during my reading, and it was a dream come true to have so many attendees wait in line for me to sign their books. In all, the event resulted in the sale of sixty-one books - with some people buying two or three. People I've known for years and people I've never met came up to me to tell me their similar story of bipolar disorder and suicide in their lives. I am indeed thrilled they chose to attend last night and … [Read more...]
It’s Not Just About the Money
Paul Sharples 1971-1999 The Red Room Where the Writers Are blog (http://www.redroom.com/) prompt this week was to write about "writing for free." Here is what I had to say about that. I've been writing without monetary rewards virtually all of my life. However I've stepped up the pace in the years since the death of my son in 1999, when I found that writing paid me in comfort and healing. Writing about the unhappiness and tragedy in my life transfers the pain from my body onto the page. Writing is like an addiction to me; I get itchy if I don't do it. My office, where I write, is like magic to me. I could spend all day in there and never feel confined. I see the outside garden and the fountain from my writing table. The fountain attracts the most beautiful orange and yellow birds. Some have red heads, some take little dips in the pool, some surf on the leaves that hang over the fountain, some just hover over the water too wary to wade in. The time I spend writing in my office … [Read more...]
My interview for Out on a Limb
My friend and writing colleague, Martha Clark Scala, interviewed me for her monthly e-zine, "Out on a Limb," meant to invite and inspire you to maximize the joy in your life. I am so thrilled that she chose to write about me and my book in her newsletter. She is a true BFF. Out on a Limb A Monthly Newsletter from Martha Clark Scala Invest in bringing joy back to your life. May 2011 http://www.mcscala.com/Ezine/May2011.html Here is the interview: Digging Out of the Muck: An Interview with Poet and Memoirist, Madeline Sharples In April's Limb, you heard about Helen the Hummingbird and her two babies. Several readers have written to ask what happened next? The two babies successfully fledged! We have viewed them on neighboring bushes and branches, and on one occasion, Helen was seen feeding the kids. Since then, I've had the privilege of seeing a seal pup who was only one hour old, and observed the family activities of five goslings with their parents. In the wild, … [Read more...]
Patty "Next Door"
Beautiful Manhattan Beach Sunset The sun is setting on my neighbor next door. Everytime I look toward her house - just on the other side of our wood slat fence, I feel sad. She's been battling pancreatic cancer for about two and a half years, and we were all optimistic at first because the chemotherapy seemed to be working. We've never been very close, but it's always nice to know she is there. And we're shared some good times - her daughter's wedding, a few special birthdays. We've also shared some tough times - our Paul's death and the death of her daughter's infant. We'd have conversations from our deck or patio and a few dinners together. But that's over. We tried to visit last weekend, but her husband said it is too late. She stays in bed, sleeping most of the time because of doses of heavy painkillers, and has only days left. Recently visitors arrived next door with flowers and sad faces. Made me wonder if it's Patty's time. She's been struggling with … [Read more...]
Remembering March 1993
Sometime during the first week of March 1993, my son Paul had his first manic (bipolar) break. He was a student in his senior year at the New School in New York City and was successfully playing jazz piano at several gigs in lower Manhattan and Brooklyn. All seemed to be going as planned as he worked toward graduating the following June. Two weeks before he came home to Manhattan Beach for his grandmother's (my mother's) February 12, eighty-fifth birthday party. He was perfectly fine throughout the weekend. Yet two weeks later his life and ours changed forever. Paul playing Happy Birthday to his grandmother, February 1993 I'm on the left with my brother, mother, and sister at the birthday party … [Read more...]
Rain
It's been raining for days. I like the rain. Bob and I fell in love on a rainy day in March so we always welcome the rain. We like the sound of it on our roof. I love the way my garden looks in the rain or just after. We grow mostly succulents in various shades of green and pinkish red, and the rain makes those colors pop. It's almost like a garden of wild flowers especially since so many of the plants are shaped like flowers. I also like to see the hills after the rain. They seem to take on an extra coat of Technicolor green. The rain completely revitalizes the usual dry tan fields so prevalent in southern California. The storm we've been having is the worst in ten years they say. But I remember one about a year before Paul died. It rained for a lot of days in a row like it's doing now, and he hated being cooped up in the house. He couldn't get out and do his usual wandering or smoke breaks outside. He said it was driving him crazy and then he chucked, realizing what he had just … [Read more...]
Reach out – help is really out there
A friend of mine recently asked me to contact her friend who had lost a son to suicide. She thought I could tell her friend about my experience as a way of helping her. Although I called with trepidation -- I worried about being intrusive -- I felt our conversation went well. And hopefully we can continue not just for her benefit but for mine as well. I reconnected with an old school-days friend after our son died because he had had a similar experience six years before. And from the minute he walked through my door I felt relief. Here was someone who really understood what I was going through. He wasn't there to give me therapy. He was just there -- anytime I needed him to be there. So my point is - reach out to anyone you know who can be there for you in your time of need. We also went to the Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services Survivors After Suicide eight-week workshop after Paul died. I know I've written about Didi Hirsch, before but I feel it's appropriate to mention this … [Read more...]
Tree of life
Paul loved to climb -- trees, rocks, up the highest diving boards. He also loved skiing and parasailing. He was fearless. Here's a photo of him sitting comfortably up in a tree's vee. Unfortunately his favorite climbing tree at the end of our driveway in front of our house died, and in his memory we planted a coral tree on the first anniversary of his death. We can't keep up with its heavy growth. Here's Paul's tree of life on a foggy morning in Manhattan Beach. This morning while I was walking along the beach I met a woman I hadn't seen for a long time. We were at one time tennis partners way back when I played on a very cutthrout tennis team. The subject of Paul came up very quickly because her daughter is bipolar and doesn't want to recognize that she is ill -- because of the stigma of mental illness. My friend is a physician and knows the truth that bipolar is a disease just like any physical disease. If it's treated it can be controlled. And it doesn't help not … [Read more...]
Day 3. Survivors of Suicide
I recently came upon this website and thought it worth mentioning in this series -- even though it doesn't specifically provide suicide prevention assistance and education. Dealing with one's grief after a loved one's suicide is the first step to avoiding your own suicide. I'm told it is very common for relatives of suicides to take their own lives. Created in 1998, Survivors of Suicide is an independently owned and operated website and is in no way associated with any specific group, organization or religious affiliation. Its purpose is to help those who have lost a loved one to suicide resolve their grief and pain in their own personal way. The registered area of the SOS site (for which a fee is charged) offers an interactive forum called The Circle that is dedicated to those who have lost a loved one to suicide and a safe place to share and discuss the feelings associated with such a loss. The Healing Hearts area offers support, consolation and encouragement to members in all … [Read more...]
Book progress amidst thoughts about suicide
Well, now I really have my work cut out for me. I have several marked up chapters from my editors so I can complete, complete the first four chapters for sure. I also have final suggestions from my First Reader to combine several chapters -- two into one and three into one. And, right now I think I'm okay about doing that. in fact I know how to do it. So at this point I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can actually see finished chapters on the horizon. I was so worried yesterday that making somce of the suggested changes would be too daunting, but after working through one today I know I'll be okay. Plus it is my book. I can take my editor's notes or leave them. That's the advantage of my being the person with the last red pen. I also think of the suicide crisis we're having because of bullying. In the 11 years since my son Paul's suicide death I think the suicide rate has greatly increased (I plan to include the facts about that at the end of my book). However, … [Read more...]
