From last Monday until Thursday night our house was prepped for sandblasting. The construction workers put up scaffolding, patched, took away areas of the red tile roof, and finally covered every window with black sheeting in preparation for blasting off the white stucco. The black window coverings made Bob a little anxious. Even with all our windows open no air circulated through the house. But, we only had to endure that claustrophic feeling one night. Sandblasting happened on Friday. I went by during the noon hour and most of the color was off the outer walls by then. However the noise and the dust created from it was horrible. So, much so that the workers wore ear plugs and couldn't communicate with me how long the house would be off limits to entering and exiting. Once I saw the finished product and all the sand debris and damaged plants, I realized we'll have a huge gardening expense after the stucco is finished. We will have to replace a lot of the plants that grew … [Read more...]
Strawberry sundae — almost gone!
On Monday morning the scaffolding goes up in preparation for sand blasting. So, this is my last weekend with the strawberry sundae house. I am indeed impressed with my contractor. He was back to us within 3 days of signing the contract to tell us we begin this Monday. I even went to the paint store and got some color samples. Makes it even more real. … [Read more...]
Ken’s birthday
Ken with his mom and sisters on Mom's 90th birthday -- February, 1999 It's Ken's birthday today. And, I am sad. I miss him today more than ever. … [Read more...]
Best cousins
My best cousin and I fell in love at his Bar Mitzvah in Williamsport PA in 1955. I was the older woman, all of 15. He was 13. And even though it was his weekend to celebrate with family and friends I found him following me around. We stood side by side for our family photo, and if you look closely you can see that we're holding hands. We've stayed close ever since. In fact while we sat side by side at dinner last Sunday night I told him I would be there for him anytime anywhere, forever. And I mean it. I know he would do the same for me. … [Read more...]
The end of a fast
If I choose today could be the last day of my alcohol fast. I've been dry since June 21, the day after our nephew's wedding. I usually stay dry in July and January, but this year I started early because I felt I had had too much to drink over the wedding weekend. Right now I'm hesitant to go back to drinking at all. Normally, I never imbibe too much a glass or two of wine most every day. But, staying dry feels better. I don't wake up with headaches, and as a result I've lost some weight. It actually looks like my belly has flattened. So, when I think hard about it, why would I go back? I can still socialize without drinking water is perfectly acceptable and so is a cup of tea. But, I know me. I like red wine especially zinfandel, and I know I don't want to give it up forever. However, I do know that I want to drink less just what I always say at the end of a fast. Unfortunately, as past experience has shown, pretty soon I'm back to my usual ways. Well, this year I'm … [Read more...]
Weekend diversions
Last night we saw "Farragut North" at the Geffen. Chris Noth, who plays Mr. Big in the Sex and the City TV series and films, and Chris Pine, who recently played Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek movie, starred. It's a political satire about a press secretary aspiring to be a successful campaign manager like his boss. It is quite fast paced and smart, but I thought the second act and the Pine character's temper tantrum dragged on much too long. The playwright is working on it as a screen play, and I think he has a lot of work to do. Plus, I was very disappointed in Noth as a stage actor. This is a big beautiful guy who comes off very well on screen, but his voice just isn't strong enough for theater. We were in the fifth row, and he hardly projected to there. Even so he still looked beautiful. And, today while Bob played golf I went to see "My Sister's Keeper" a film I could never interest him in seeing. It is definitely a tearjerker. I believe the script was taken from a true to … [Read more...]
Happy birthday, Ben
Tomorrow is Ben's 35th birthday. So, like the proud mama I am, I'm showing him off yet again. I'm sure this photo is somewhere on this blog already, but with a face like his, I see nothing wrong in posting it another time or two. We're celebrating tomorrow night at his favorite restaurant, Via Veneto, on Main Street in Santa Monica. We've got a lot to celebrate -- his engagement as well as his birthday. His 35th year promises to be very full. Happy Birthday, Ben. Have a wonderful year and more!! xoxoxoxoxoxo … [Read more...]
Weekend report
We saw two movies this weekend: "Cheri" on Friday night and "Away We Go" on Saturday. I thought "Cheri," with Michelle Pfeiffer was just so-so. The costumes and interiors were excellent; but I felt Michelle's performance was very bland like the tired courtesan that she plays. On the other hand, Kathy Bates who also plays a has-been courtesan, was terrific. But then I always find her acting terrific. Otherwise, I found the love story uninteresting. So, if you haven't seen it yet and still want to experience a Collette piece on film, rent it. It's perfect for the small screen. "Away We Go" is very worth seeing. The acting is great and natural and the writing is smart. Also cameo appearances by Jeff Daniels, Allison Janey, and Maggie Gillenhal steal this picaresque film. I loved the whole thing and highly recommend it. And, for those of my readers who live in the LA area, go to the Aquarium of the Pacific. We spent a couple of hours there yesterday afternoon and though it is … [Read more...]
Esalen one more time
For those of you who don't know anything about Esalen, here's what the brochure says: Esalen - a convergence of mountains and sea, mind, and body, East and West, meditation and action Esalen - a center for alternative education, a forum for transformational practices, a restorative retreat, a worldwide community of seekers Dedicated to exploring work in the humanities and sciences that furthers the full realization of the human potential, Esalen offers public workshops, residential work-study programs, invitational conferences, and independent projects that support its mission As a center designed to foster personal and social transformation, Esalen offers those who join the chance to explore more deeply the world and themselves. For me it's all of those things and more. … [Read more...]
After Esalen
Esalen Garden Since 1999 I had been going to Esalen in Big Sur at least once a year and sometimes twice. And, for some unknown reason I broke that habit in 2008. Thankfully I went back this past week after skipping a year and found all that I love about Esalen still there: a breathtakingly beautiful location on a cliff overlooking the ocean, soothing sulfur hot springs, a writing workshop led by generous leaders Ellen Bass, Dorianne Laux, and Joseph Millar and fellow writers whose excellent work was both inspiring and courageous. I started each day of my stay there with a long walk through the Esalen grounds to the back entrance, onto the highway for another mile and a half, back the way I came, and my reward for all that hard exercise work, a relaxing soak in a hot outdoor stone tub. After breakfast, all 34 of us in the workshop gathered together to hear a craft talk this year they were on list poems, truth and beauty, and writing with a personal voice got our writing … [Read more...]
A couple things
I'm actually getting ready to go on a business trip. I'm going to McLean, VA the location of our sister sector NGIS to take the proposal manager's training. And, because my business American Express card had to be reinstated today, it's clear that I haven't been on a business trip for years. This one is kind of exciting. First, I'm proud to have been asked to attend this class because it could open new work doors for me. And, since I'll be in the area, I'll be able to visit with family while I'm there. My sister-in-law just had back surgery, so hopefully she'll be in the mood to receive guests. I'll also get to see my niece and nephew and great niece and nephew. This visit will be an added bonus since I'll see them the following weekend in Denver when we're all there for my nephew's wedding. However, I must confess that I have a few misgivings about this trip. I haven't travelled on my own like this for a long time that is, getting a rental car and staying alone in a hotel room … [Read more...]
Happy anniversary to us!
Today we are married 39 years. And, I remember that day 39 years ago like it was yesterday. In the morning my sister and I picked up mom and dad in Long Beach as they disembarked from a cruise and brought them home. Then I went to get my hair done. My hair was about as long in those days as it is now. But then it was mostly dark brown, not mostly gray. And then we went to the Beverly Hills court house for a little private ceremony. Mom and Dad signed the license as witnesses and my cousin, with her gambler former husband, was the photographer. Bob's old college friend with his ex-wife were there. And my 21-year old sister. That was it. No other friends, no other family. After the ceremony we went back to mom and dad's and had champagne and talked to my brother. Even though my mom and dad weren't happy with my choice of mate, he said he couldn't ask for a better man for me. But, then he and Bob always got along. They called each other boyfriends. We had a wedding dinner at a … [Read more...]
Sixty-nine years of accomplishments
I just revisited my blog entry from one year ago today. I didn't say much about my birthday except that I thought I looked younger than my years and certainly felt better than my years. Well, the same is mostly true today except that I do look like I've aged quite a bit. I have more lines, bags under my eyes and I've let my hair go quite gray totally my choice. I've also grown a bit around the middle. But, I'm becoming less vain about all that. I'm 69 for Pete's sake; I might as well show that I've lived those years. So, today I'm thinking about what I've accomplished in those 69 years. For one thing I've accomplished good health. I don't have any major or even minor illnesses, and I have no aches and pains. My cousin-in-law says everyone past 60 has pains. Sorry, he's wrong about me. I don't. I'm as fit as I was 20 years ago. I don't jog anymore, but I think nothing of working out most days and taking up to two-hour walks with absolutely no problems afterward. In fact, I think … [Read more...]
Saturday
The birds are out by my fountain in force this morning. It's lovely to see them hopping in and out of the pond or walking on the large leaves beside the pond. It's not sunny yet, but it's going to be a warm day. This was an uneventful week workwise, except I had lunch with someone I hadn't seen since 1971. Actually he was someone I dated a few times before Bob and I got serious about getting married. We only spent an hour together yet it was enough time to get down and dirty about some of the events in our lives. And, it was enough time to know that I probably don't want to go there again. He picked me up outside my office and we drove to Beaches downtown Manhattan Beach. During the drive he told me he has had both hips replaced so he has trouble with balance and walking especially upstairs. Beaches is an upstairs restaurant that he picked! And, besides his hips, he is hard of hearing, has arthritis in his fingers, has lupus that affects his skin he showed me some of his skin … [Read more...]
Mother’s Day
Mother's Day is always a bittersweet day for me. I love celebrating with Ben - he'll be here in about an hour and he's going to hit some tennis balls with me - and I miss Paul so much more on this day. I don't miss Mother's Day with my mom -- it was always difficult and not enough with her. I wrote ths poem the first Mother's Day after she died. Mother's Day This Mother's Day I don't have to give my mother the perfect not too flowery or gushy card. For no matter what it would say she doubted my love unless I wrote, Dearest Mom across the top. This Mother's Day I don't have to comb the stores for the perfect gift hand lotion, a gold charm, a silk scarf, a sweater. For whatever I bought, she always said she didn't need it and could I change it for something else. When she died so many of those gifts came back to me. And I cherish them because they were hers. … [Read more...]
Remembering my dad
My dad was born on May 7, 1903. Here he is with baby Paul, the love of his life, in 1973 -- two years before he died (at the young age of 72). I'd like to believe they are up there somewhere together -- though I really don't. … [Read more...]
We need healing thoughts
Two weeks ago my brother-in-law, R, got the results of a final test that showed he indeed had Stage 2 lung cancer, and he was told to come back to see a surgeon this week. Waiting two weeks seemed a little cavalier to me. After all cancer is nothing to take one's time about. But he seemed okay with it until yesterday, when the surgeon told him that another tiny spot was found on his other lung. If this new spot is malignant, it means that his cancer is spreading even before he has surgery to remove it from the first location his left lung and three lymph nodes associated with that lung. Anyway, this all started several months ago. During a routine physical exam prior to knee replacement surgery his doctors discovered that he had a heart blockage that needed fixing before he could undergo the knee surgery. That surgery happened and once he was fully recovered, he went back to his doctor in preparation for knee surgery once more. And, that is when more tests revealed he had … [Read more...]
Beard or not?
I've never been an admirer of facial hair -- or hairy chests and backs for that matter. Maybe it's because my first husband was a very hairy guy and I wanted to get as far away from anything like him as possible when I made up my mind to leave that marriage. My current husband, who when shaved has wonderfully soft and smooth skin, has grown a beard a couple of times during our 42 years together. The first time -- back in the late 70s -- it looked sparce and straggly, and in my biased estimation pretty ugly. This last time was two weeks ago. And, he's received a lot of kudos about how good it looks -- not from me of course. I don't like how it feels and I personally think it makes him look a lot older. And, I can't see anything attractive about a lot of white hair stubble growing on someone's face. So you be the judge -- pre beard and two weeks growth: … [Read more...]
Family photos
Ben's girlfriend took these photos while we were recently having dinner at PF Chang's. … [Read more...]
Ah — the actor’s life
I had lunch with Ben today. He picked me up at my office parking lot, and he drove us to one of our favorite restaurants, Havana Mania. The food is Cuban, and it's delicious. I always get the same thing the chicken salad. Though today it was different tomatoes and less onions the taste was wonderful. Ben looks good. He was proud of the haircut he got yesterday at Super Cuts for only $17. He's confident about the prospect of a couple of acting projects coming to fruition. So he is all smiles. We don't talk about anything too personal mostly about family and work and movies and the superficiality of Facebook (after all, not everything is poetry), and our mutual Facebook friends, but it's all good. He's a grownup now, and he needs his privacy. I respect that. If I pried too much I'm sure it would drive him away. I just want success for him so badly it almost hurts. Like the poem I wrote a few years ago after looking at his new headshots on my computer one shot better than the … [Read more...]
