Yesterday I heard an interview with Michelle Norris of NPR and Mary Kehe, the book editor of the Christian Science Monitor, about the flood of books coming out about Sarah Palin. The last interchange really hit home to me, because of the number of rejections I've gotten about the subject matter of my book. NORRIS: If we look at all of the Sarah Palin books that are about to be published, what do we learn about the book publishing industry in this moment? Ms. KEHE: Oh boy, I - you know, I hate to say it, but I don't think it paints a pretty picture. It seems to me it smacks of a bit of desperation. And in many cases it shows a little bit of disregard for quality, a willingness to cater, in some cases, not every case, certainly, but sometimes to a lowest common denominator. Well, that conversation makes me feel less like a failure. I think my work is good. I've heard from others that it's good. Unfortunately, it's not the subject matter that will grab a book agent or publisher … [Read more...]
Query update
So, I got the most direct rejection of my material via email yesterday. The agent, no, no names here, wrote me back almost immediately saying: Thanks for the query, but I don't want to deal with such pain. I'm enraged that a person could be so short sighted and actually admit this. Yet, he is more courageous than most agents who just blandly say my material is not right for them or doesn't fit into their list. I am tempted to send Mr. Blatant Agent Glenn Close's article. I'm tempted to send it to all the agents who have rejected my work, but it's a waste of time. I need to keep moving on. I need to keep querying and taking the rejections no matter how they come. I just read a success story that it took an author three years to find her perfect agent. I'm not anywhere close to that. Another reason to keep querying on. And, speaking of moving on, I've started the November Poem a Day (PAD) challenge. I don't know if I'll be able to continue with busy day job is this month, … [Read more...]
California Women’s Conference
For the last four years I've attended the California Women's Conference hosted by Maria Shriver. Fortunately, my company pays for the tickets and for my time there. It's a great deal. This year 14,000 people (mostly women) attended. Hightlights for me this year: A conversation between Annie Leibowitz and Katie Couric with Annie commenting on her photos shown overhead Maria Shriver's welcome speech and her openness about her grief over the loss of her mother and uncle just in the last two months The panel moderated by Maria with two women who lost sons (Elizabeth Edwards and Susan St. James)and one who just lost her husband (Lisa Swayze) -- a very emotional experience for me Jane Goodall and her eloquence in accepting a well deserved Minerva award for her work to save Africa from polution And of course Madeleine Albright's famous quote (she said it last year too): "There should be a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Whether I'm still … [Read more...]
A book whose time has come
I'm beginning to think the time has come for the subject of my book. Whether it will help motivate an agent and a publisher is another story, but just in the last week two pieces have come out discussing mental illness and dealing with it. One was an article by Glenn Close in The Huffington Post about eliminating the stigma of silence about mental health. Another article was on NPR this morning about helping college students with mental illness and the need for more counselors so their needs can be responded to quickly. Akin to a broken leg that gets immediate attention, a mental break or deep depression also needs immediate attention. This has become more prevalent in the last 10 years because more students with mental illness are attending college enabled by the availability of the anti mania, anti depression, and anti psychotic new medications. So, looking back at the response Paul had when he had his first psychotic break when he was in college. Someone from the school's … [Read more...]
The same old choices keep re-emerging
This was the 14th day in a row that I went into work. Of course I don't work the long full days on the weekends like I do during the week, but I still went in. And this pace will continue until the night before Thanksgiving exactly one month from today. The way I'm feeling now, I can't guarantee that I'll ever do this again. In fact, I'm thinking of my options yet again: ¢ Ask my boss if I can work part time 20 hours or more with benefitsw ¢ Officially retire and come back once in a while as a contractor ¢ Give up my day job all together and concentrate on my writing ¢ Get back to planning to live in Italy which means getting back to my Italian lessons. I definitely could write as well there as here and I could take a few cooking classes besides. Needless to say the options are there. Whether or not I even have the energy to pursue them is the big unknown. Whether or not I trust that I can stand not working is another unknown. And the most important unknown is what the … [Read more...]
I can definitely relate
We saw "August Osage Country" today with Estelle Parsons. The writing and acting are brilliant. And, so is Estelle's ability to run up and down one or two flights of stairs several times during the play. There was a Q&A with Estelle in the program. Here's the question and answer I could definitely relate to: "Q: Everyone marvels at how you go up and down those stairs. How do you stay in shape? "A: I've been very physically active all my life. Dance lessons, yoga, running, hiking. I would have loved to have been a skier or a tennis player if I weren't an actor. I run or swim or go to the gym everyday, and also do yoga. i started doing weights when I got into my 60s, and have had a lot of trainers. When you get older, your strength dissipates very quickly. It probably starts in your 60s, but when you get into your 70s, if you don't walk a mile for a couple of weeks, pretty soon it's hard work to walk a mile. So, I've always kept up with it...I just can't help … [Read more...]
Another sign from the light
I got word today that two of my poems were accepted for publication in Perigee: Publication for the Art's October 15 issue. I'll post the link as soon as they appear. Here's what Perigee said: "Your work was among the very best, and we are pleased to inform you that we would like to publish both "Demolition" and "Reaching for a Star" in our upcoming issue. You are to be commended on your craft and should be proud of your work¦.We are so pleased that you submitted to us, and we hope to see more of your work in the future. We also hope you will take pride in your achievement: these are the successes which make the creative act all the more rewarding. Thanks for making Perigee a part of it. Congratulations. WOW that was a real shot in the arm to get my creative juices flowing again. I've been very dormant lately, and with that and the signs I've been getting re resources for submitting my work, I feel like I have to get going with my writing and submissions. Another agent's name … [Read more...]
My writing light
One of my friends always says "bring on the light." With that she means bring on good vibes. And right now I seem to be receiving a lot of light about publishing resources. One person told me about the Independent Writer's Organization of Southern California and its tremendous list of resources and links. Another person sent me the UCLA Alumni magazine that highlighted the Wordhustler web site a perfect place to go to for help in researching, organizing, and sending out submissions. It's seems that all of this light is telling me to get back to my writing and submissions and querying. It's telling me to end this little hiatus I've taken for the last few weeks for reasons lack of motivation, too much work, the dreaded month of September, completing the 45 hours continuing education needed to renew my real estate license, the house redo, whatever. It's always easy to find a reason. Well, right now I have a reason the light to get back into the writing game again. And, I've just … [Read more...]
The end of the dreaded month
Many folks suggested we move out of our house after Paul died there, but it wouldn't have made a difference. He is everywhere. So, to end this dreaded month, here's the poem I wrote at Esalen last July. -- about seeing him everywhere. It's a topic I have come back to over and over. And, perhaps with a new month starting tomorrow, the topic will also be new. Today I Saw You on the Hill Just after my morning walk on the highway up to South Coast, just after my relaxing soak in the big corner bath, just as I start my trudge up the hill, towel in hand ready to dump in the box, I see you engrossed in a conversation. I know you instantly the buzz cut the long sideburns the slight build the intense blue eyes giving full attention to your friend as you talk. Today for some reason the clothes are wrong. Instead of your Doc Martins you wear bright striped sneakers Instead of the brown leather book bag slung across your body that I bought you for school you have … [Read more...]
The first day of the eleventh year
We went to the cemetery yesterday to visit Paul's grave. We couldn't find it right away, and my mind jumped to the thought that he wasn't dead after all and of course it wouldn't be there. But that was just a fleeting thought. It was there right in front of me. It had ants crawling all over it, and I wondered why they had chosen his gravestone and not the others. Could it be that he was so much younger and more succulent than the other dead people around him who all died in their 80s and 90s. Another silly thought because everyone around him had been reduced to ashes as well. All the succulence burned out of every last one of them. It's always anticlimactic to go to the cemetery. I worry over it, I think about it for days before, and then once I'm there, I lay down a stone, touch it, brush away a bit of the dust, shed a tear or two, and then we go. We spend maybe five minutes in all, and we drive away. Writing poems about him seems more productive. Here is yesterday's … [Read more...]
More short poems
And, all for Paul. 140 Cell phones, iPods, TIVO, DVDs, Wii, arrived since he left. But, his beloved vinyl records still prevail. He knew what technology would survive. 140 I would love to show him my iPhone he'd figure it out immediately. He'd know the Apps to choose and within a minute or two he'd make it his own. 140 I was shocked to learn Joplin, Hendricks and Morrison all died at 28 in 1971 the year of Paul's birth. Paul was 3 months shy of 28 when he died. … [Read more...]
140 characters (or less)
I've been toying with writing 140 character poems -- the length of a Twitter -- just to keep up with poetry's latest trends. Here are my first attempts (with their character counts). 140 The B swaggers across the room, looking from side to side with a judging pursed-lip smile on her face. Doesn't she know that will cause wrinkles? 138 Wildfire smoke obscures the Santa Monica coast. It dissipates into Georgia O'Keefe clouds that hover over our quiet beach town to the South. 140 Shopping in Beverly Hills for finely tailored Italian clothes after two drought years, good for the economy or just a way to shore up my closet? 140 Swarthy vs blonde Artistic vs scientific Insensitive vs an abundance of tears One birthday is 2/3/1937 The other is 2/4/1937 I married them both. … [Read more...]
September – the dreaded month
because it was the month that Paul died. Bob and I were listening to Paul's music last night, and Bob started to cry. It became so intense I had to ask him to turn the music off. Sometimes I can listen and sometimes not. Not is probably right for this month. I'll be posting more about Paul this month. I've been thinking about what he's missed -- mostly in technology toys. He was a computer geek as well as a composer and musician. I think he would have liked an iPhone. He probably would have been a champ at texting. Not like Dana Perry who called her son's death, "Boy Interrupted," I call Paul's death, "Life Interrupted." … [Read more...]
Signed contract
Today we signed the contract to begin the work of redoing the outside of our house -- smoothing the stucco, painting, replacing the fence on the west side, and a few other little things that keep cropping up. The work of the house is never ending, don't you think? I've wanted to redo the house's surface for years, and I'm excited that we took the first step today -- we signed on with a contractor to get the job done. We did our due diligence and got three estimates -- all from hightly recommended folks, and we finally picked the one we felt was right. Plus, his bid was in the middle of the three. One was way low and incomplete. The third was way too high for the same work. So, I've decided to chronicle the job's progress here. Tomorrow our contractor will get the stucco subcontractor on board and pull a city permit for sand blasting. The advantage in choosing a local contractor is he knows the ins and outs of the city. He knows we need a permit for the sand blasting and that it's a … [Read more...]
A great movie! GO!
We saw Julie and Julia on Sunday. A movie about a lesbian love affair? No, sorry to disappoint. This is a movie about food and cooking. The Julia is Julia Child, and the Julie is Julie Powell, who decided to write a blog about cooking every one of the Julia Child recipes in Mastering the Art of French Cooking in one year. What a brilliant idea. Plus at the end she had oodles of followers and comments and then newspaper interviewers who came to dinner and wrote about her the next day. And lo and behold she had agents and publishers leaving messages for her, practically begging her to sign with them. In the end she got both a book and a movie deal. How could anyone be so lucky and smart? Plus now the Child books are flying off the shelves of the bookstores and Amazon, and cooking schools are filling up. What a boon for the cooking business. My friend, the owner of our local French restaurant, was quoted in the article about the movie today, and I suspect his business will also … [Read more...]
Reiki vs traditional massage — or both?
What is Reiki? According to the International Center for Reiki Training: Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy. The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy." I had my first Reiki session last night and it was one of my most calming and relaxing experiences. My friend, who is a Reiki master, began by laying her hands on my eyes for what seemed like a half hour. And, the longer her hands stayed there, the warmer the sensation. She continued laying her hands point by point on … [Read more...]
The end of a fast
If I choose today could be the last day of my alcohol fast. I've been dry since June 21, the day after our nephew's wedding. I usually stay dry in July and January, but this year I started early because I felt I had had too much to drink over the wedding weekend. Right now I'm hesitant to go back to drinking at all. Normally, I never imbibe too much a glass or two of wine most every day. But, staying dry feels better. I don't wake up with headaches, and as a result I've lost some weight. It actually looks like my belly has flattened. So, when I think hard about it, why would I go back? I can still socialize without drinking water is perfectly acceptable and so is a cup of tea. But, I know me. I like red wine especially zinfandel, and I know I don't want to give it up forever. However, I do know that I want to drink less just what I always say at the end of a fast. Unfortunately, as past experience has shown, pretty soon I'm back to my usual ways. Well, this year I'm … [Read more...]
Ten years ago
I wrote this poem for Ben when he turned 25. Every mom should have a Ben for a son. I am so blessed. For Ben on Your 25th Birthday Only suckling or holding you against my belly and breasts would quiet you. Not even your thumbs (you did not care which) eased your cries in those first few months. When finally the crying stopped you emerged determined to take on the world. That Benjamin, we called you. Look, I can ride a 2-wheeler and I'm only 3, you shouted with pale hair like fine corn silk flying and huge hazel eyes seeing nothing but the road. You lived your young life in competition reading the most books, writing the most journal pages, earning the most As, running the fastest 10K, collecting the most Garbage Pail Kids and hitting the best backhand down the line. You loved the pressure It made you nervous (I said excited) It was your fuel You had to be the best. Your tennis consumed you and me We drove miles and miles You in your … [Read more...]
Preparing for my poetry writing retreat
I just had a pedicure in preparation for dipping into those wonderful sulfur hot springs at Esalen in Big Sur next week. How could I go in without perfect toes? Actually the toes will have nothing to do with the poems I write, but it's best to be prepared for anything. Here's a piece I wrote many years ago about getting a manicure. It was my first attempt in writing something surreal. Perhaps it was my last as well. Manicure I watched her as she carefully set the implements on the table. The files, in graduating sizes, the picks, the chisels, the sanding paper, the paint brushes and cans of paint all in perfect sanitized rows in front of her. She asked for my index finger. I unscrewed it and gave it to her and she began her work. As she bent over my finger I could see that her head came to a bald point on the top that she covered with a sprig of holly berries, twisted around and around the point like a Christmas tree. The rest of her hair lay in long wisps to the floor … [Read more...]
