Today is the last day of my self-inflicted July blog-a-day challenge. You can probably hear me breathing a sigh of relief as I look out my office window. Though I'm glad I achieved my goal - there were many times in the month when I was tempted to call it off - I'm happy to tell you that I'm not ever going to do that to myself again. Here's why: Thinking up a blog subject thirty-one days in a row is hard. As a result I know my posts were repetitive and sometimes uninteresting. I should have asked more writing friends to make guest appearances to help mix it up a bit. It was time-consuming. It took me more time to decide on a post subject than it took to write about the subject. It put unneeded pressure on me. What did I need that for? Well, I decided on this scheme while I was waiting for comments on my novel from my group of beta readers. I felt I needed another activity to keep me busy. I was definitely wrong about that. I also pressured myself not … [Read more...]
More writing quotes
I've said before that I collect quotes, and I've posted writing quotes on Choices many times. Well, I just came across a list of seventy-two more that I have saved in my Documents Folder for the last couple of years. I'll share some with you now and more later in the year. I don't want to bore you if you're not into this as much as I am. By the way, some of these authors are unknown to me. I think it might be a good idea to get to know about them, so I've marked those with an asterisk (*). I'd love to know what you know about them. The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress. Philip Roth The road to hell is paved with adverbs. Stephen King Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it's the answer to everything. ¦ It's the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it's a … [Read more...]
Paul Blieden, master photographer
Although he didn't know it, when Paul Blieden invited me to write the poems for his photography book, The Emerging Goddess, he helped save my creative life. At that time I was still writing dark mourning poems for my dead son. As soon as I said yes to Paul's request, my writing turned a corner. When I realized I could write about something other than the death of my son and my memories of him, I climbed out of the deep funk I was in. I loved The Emerging Goddess project as I love the rest of Paul Blieden's photography. His subject matter is endlessly varied. He has done head shots, fashion, fine art, travel, and nature photography since 2001 and has enjoyed every minute. During this time he became a member of the Los Angeles Art Association and was on its board; a member of the Palos Verdes Art Center where he was president of both the Photography and Digital Artist group and the Artist Open Group. He is currently a member of the Palos Verdes/South Bay Audubon Society and an avid … [Read more...]
How my memoir came to be
I wrote the following piece a little over a year ago for the Women's Writing Circle. I'd like to share it with you now. When I Knew I Had A Memoir I returned to writing regularly when our son Paul was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in March 1993. He had just turned 21 and was a senior at the New School in New York City. Early on during his illness I read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam, 1992), and her suggestion to write morning pages resonated with me. Because I was employed full-time then, I didn't always write in the morning, but I always finished my three pages before the end of the day. So writing about my son's bipolar disorder and later about his 1999 suicide death became my therapy. Writing during the most stressful time of my life became an obsession and a balm. It gave me a way to organize my fears, pain, and thoughts. Besides journaling I began to take writing workshops at the UCLA Extension Writers Program and Esalen Institute in … [Read more...]
Five reasons to be in a writing group
I joined a writing group a couple of years ago. It's called The Last Sunday Writers because we usually meet the last Sunday of the month. Today's meeting was cancelled because of lack of a quorum. Only two of us plus our leader planned to attend, and we weren't prepared to read this month. So what's the point? I usually want to read at the meetings, but I'm still a little traumatized from the feedback from my novel beta readers. I need to give putting myself out there a rest for a while. However, I'm very glad I was invited to join. I had known several people in the group because we attended workshops together. Or if we hadn't met before we had worked with the some of the same writing instructors in the past. So we are a well-knit group with similar goals: continue to write, get feedback from our fellow writers, and network. Five things I like about being in a writing group are: It encourages me to prepare a piece for review once a month: this can be a new essay, story, poem, … [Read more...]
Change your thoughts today
I've just discovered and liked Steven Aitchison's Facebook page: Change Your Thoughts ~ Change Your Life. I feel like I've missed something not knowing about this page sooner. Over 440,900 people have beat me to it, but it's never too late. Steven's aphorisms are perfect for me and my life right now. I know they will help me at some point. I'd like to share a couple with you - the first by one of my favorite people, Pema Chodron. She always seems to show up at the right time. The next aphorism is by Dodinsky, whom I've just gotten acquainted with. Check out his website Positively Positive. Thanks so much for all you do. … [Read more...]
My favorite uncle
In July 1949, my favorite Uncle Phil was killed in a plane crash in the Burbank California mountains. He was returning home to Los Angeles from Chicago where he attended a furniture and textile show and visited with family. I wrote the story below from my memory of the day we found out about the crash and that he was not one of the fourteen survivors. I couldn't let the month of July go by without a mention of him. Uncle Phil still has a huge place in my heart. "I Didn't Have Time to Worry" I was nine during the summer of 1949. My baby sister was a month old, and my brother was away at camp. I spent those long, lazy days being the big sister. I either helped my mom take care of the baby, swam in Lake Michigan a block away from our apartment in Chicago, or I was curled up with my nose in a book. I was the chubby girl with short, dark curly hair. My eyes were hazel and my skin had a deep summertime tan. And, I was already a romantic, hopelessly in love with my Uncle Phil, one of … [Read more...]
Keith Alan Hamilton’s photo at Times Square
I'm so excited for my poet and photographer friend, Keith Alan Hamilton. His photo, Transition Flutter-Fly, will be shown at New York City's Times Square this very day. He'll be in the crowd with a butterfly shirt on, so if you're in the vicinity, please go by and say hi. Give him a hug for me too - I wish I could do it myself. I've known Keith for several years. We first met on Facebook when I joined the Poets, Writers, Photographers, Musicians, Artists ~ Networking group he created. We later met for dinner in Boston, and he also visited my husband and me in California. We discussed putting together a book of poems with images. That is still in the works. I've written several blog posts about Keith and his poems and photos (see this one). His devotion to his creativity is catching. Here's Keith's butterfly photo: And here's a photo of Keith so you can easily recognize him: … [Read more...]
Stanley Family Foundation donates $650 million to psychiatric research
A donation of $650,000 for psychiatric research is so important to those with mental illness and their families and friends that I had to share this complete article from yesterday's "New York Times." My son Paul was struck with his first manic break when he was a senior in college in New York at age 21. He believed that people were poisoning his food, drinks, and cigarettes and were lurking in doorways out to get him and his girlfriend. He also became freaked by the constant sirens going off in the city. He was prescribed lithium during his first hospital stay, but he didn't stay on it consistently - he felt it interfered with his creative abilities (he was a jazz musician) - and unfortunately that was his downfall. After seven years of alternating manic and depressive behavior and many hospitalizations, he killed himself. You can read his story in my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother's Memoir of Living with Her Son's Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His … [Read more...]
Drum rolls for my guest Marie Abanga
I'm so pleased to introduce my guest Marie Abanga, author of My Unconventional Loves: My Hurts, My Adulteries, My Redemption, a book written in a voice so raw and open it almost takes my breath away. Here she tells how she created her book almost in complete secrecy because of what she calls her "embarrassing and shameful revelations." Please welcome Marie. I am so glad she persevered and successfully completed her memoir project. My Memoir Writing Journey by Marie Abanga Hi there, my name is Marie Abanga, author of the memoir My Unconventional Loves: My Hurts, My Adulteries, My Redemption. I was so happy when one of my favorite authors, Madeline Sharples, offered to host me on her blog. She asked me to do a post on my memoir writing journey for other beginners like myself. I sort of knew what memoirs were and had read several. But I had not come across one with such embarrassing and shameful revelations like I included in mine. There may be worse ones out there, but the authors … [Read more...]
A new milestone: 175 reader reviews
In the last 30 days my memoir Leaving the Hall Light On has received three new reviews. As a result it has reached a milestone: 175 reviews total - 113 with five stars. I'm always thrilled with the five-star reviews, of course; however, the last three have all been terrific. Twenty-seven days ago, Michael Knezic's five-star review said: Heartbreaking! I thought that the book was very well written and put you right there with the family. I don't know how difficult it was for them to write this book but I think it puts the reader right there with the family. It opens your eyes!! On July 7, Bridgette Carpenter's four-star review said: A sad story about parenting a severely mentally disturbed son. ¦The book is very sad¦. It is so terribly sad that the parents could not keep their son in an institution where he would have been required to take his medicines and he would not have been able to injure himself. Their son was an adult so he couldn't be forced to take his medicines as … [Read more...]
A poem in three acts
I've mentioned before that I write to Robert Lee Brewer's Wednesday poetry prompts that he posts on his Poetic Asides blog. Robert is one of the Writing Community Editors at "Writer's Digest Magazine." He also provides a prompt a day during his April and November poem a day challenges. Some Wednesdays writing to his prompts comes easy, some days it does not, but I always copy and paste them to a running list of his prompts with my sporadic poem attempts. I also religiously take the PAD challenges - just to keep up my poetry training, if nothing else. Last Wednesday Robert's prompt said: "Write a poem in which you've imagined a story for a stranger. Maybe someone you see on public transportation, a couple at the laundromat, or a neighbor. Is the person more fabulous than expected? Fallen upon harder times? Exactly as one might guess?" This one hit home because a couple of years ago I decided to write a series of poems about people I didn't know. I found it to be a very fun … [Read more...]
My WOW blog tour dance card is filling up
I'm always thrilled to host authors on a Women on Writing WOW blog tour. WOW created such a great tour for my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On, when it first launched, I never hesitate to return the favor. Right now I have six authors scheduled to appear here on Choices in the next few months. I don't think it hurts to give you a little advance notice, but I won't spoil the fun now with too many details. I'll just give you their names, book titles, and dates they will be my guests. Elizabeth Maria Naranjo, The Fourth Wall on August 4 Paige Strickland, Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity on August 11 Lorraine Ash, Self and Soul: On Creating a Meaningful Life on August 20 Tara Meissner, Stress Fracture: A Memoir of Psychosis on October 1 Kathleen Pooler, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse on October 7 Jerry Waxler, Memoir Revolution, on November 5 However, by no means is my calendar fully booked. … [Read more...]
Poems and photos from Africa trip
While I've been awaiting comments on my novel from my beta readers I've been editing poems and gathering photos to illustrate the poems from our trip to Africa last summer. I know I have a long way to go, but I thought I'd try a few out on you. Your comments are most welcome. And I hope you enjoy the photos. Boni A young person greets us at the airport in a light blue and red two-piece dress and hair tied in long tight braids at the back of his neck. So many beads in primary colors adorn his head, neck, wrists, and fingers, at first I think he is a girl. He introduces himself as our guide Boni, as he drives us to the lodge. He will lead our game tours during our stay in Kenya's Samburu district, promising we'll see this area's big five: lions, leopards, elephants, rhinos, and lions. Boni's forte is tracking. As he drives he looks out the right side of our truck for footprints and fresh dung on the bumpy red dirt roads, clues to which animals we're … [Read more...]
We’re mourning two young men in Manhattan Beach
I don't normally write about current events, but an article by Paul Silva in our neighborhood paper, The Beach Reporter, made me realize I needed to write this. This week two young men from my hometown of Manhattan Beach had their lives end way too soon. One, a senior at the University of California at Berkeley, was spending a semester abroad in England. He was hit by a car as a pedestrian. He had looked the wrong way (the way we usually look in America) for oncoming traffic as he stepped off the curb to cross the street. The other young man, a high school student, was riding in the top of a double-decker bus celebrating a friend's birthday. He stood up on his seat at the wrong time and hit his head on an overpass. As a mother who has lost one of her sons (mine to suicide and just as sudden), I know the death of a child is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent. And I just had to say how much I mourn with the parents and families of these two talented and able … [Read more...]
Writers’ inspirations
I love to collect quotes - especially by writers I admire. Here's a few I'd like to share with you - perhaps for a little inspiration - definitely something I need right now. … [Read more...]
Am I going to take a creative U-turn?
Today is the day I asked my novel beta readers to send me their comments. So far I've received two sets. And of course I'll very patiently await the rest. I feel my readers are doing me such a huge favor that whenever I get their comments will be okay. My dilemma now is with the two conflicting sets of comments I already have. One set says my novel is amazing, well written, and gives my writing lots of other kudos. The other set suggests major rewrite, reorganization, and more work shopping before I send it out again. This second set of comments reminds me of Julia Cameron's section on Creative U-turns in her book, The Artist's Way. It makes me want to stop working on this novel altogether because the task is too deep and too tall. I fear that I don't know how to pull it off. Cameron says: We usually commit creative hara-kiri either on the eve of or in the wake of a first creative victory¦.Creative U-turns are always both from fear fear of success or fear of failure. It … [Read more...]
Conflicting studies about the goodness or badness of alcohol
About a year ago I wrote an article about the benefits of drinking red wine, and it was easy to find articles that virtually gave me permission to drink my favorite red zinfandels. Except for my twice-yearly wine fasts (I'm abstaining from drinking alcohol of any kind this month) just to cleanse the insides so to speak, I have a glass of wine every night. I was very glad to know that my red zin is actually good for me. I also quoted a couple of reputable sources: Prevention online published 8 Reasons to Love Red Wine, validating that drinking wine is definitely good for my body. Here's the list Lowers cholesterol the high-fiber Tempranillo grapes seems to help lower cholesterol Protects your heart ¦the antioxidants in red wine can help keep blood vessels flexible and reduce the risk of unwanted clotting, says John Folts, PhD, a professor of cardiovascular medicine and nutrition at the University of WisconsinMadison. Controls blood sugar red grape skins have a … [Read more...]
Sunday morning walk
Every Sunday morning I take a long walk from my home down to our beach and then walk the length of the Strand - a walkway that parallels the Pacific Ocean - and to the end of the pier, before walking back up the hill toward home. Today I walked about five miles since I met my husband for breakfast, and he drove me home from there. Otherwise from my house and back, it's almost a six-mile walk. It was an especially beautiful walk today, so I thought I'd share with you some of the places and things I pass along the way. Grandview grade school where my boys attended Two views of Sand Dune park - where hordes of people come to work out - it's a long climb up Looking down toward the ocean from Rosecrans Boulevard after a long hike up The north end of Manhattan beach where the bike path veers toward El Segundo One of the old classic homes on the Strand, complete with stained glass and sculptures One of my favorite succulent gardens on the … [Read more...]
Support ALS research
This morning I took a Spinning class for two reasons - to workout my body and to help fund amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease) research. I am particularly motivated to support this annual fundraiser at my gym (Spectrum Club in El Segundo CA) because two people in my life were diagnosed with and later died of ALS. Our event, Getting' Down with Toni Brown, supports Augie's quest, a fundraiser focused on finding treatments and cures by the ALS Therapy Development Institute, the world's largest drug development program devoted entirely to ALS. Toni Brown was a Spinning instructor and then diagnosed with ALS in 2011. Please watch this video to see how Toni is doing now. Participation in the group fitness sessions today - classes include Spinning, Zumba, Pilates, Yoga and others - cost a minimum donation of $25. I counted about thirty people in my class - the first class of the day - this morning. So we raised at least $750.00. A great start in meeting our goal … [Read more...]
