This is another possible chapter that I’ve written for my new memoir about aging successfully. Again, I’d love to know what you think. Would a memoir with these kinds of thoughts and information interest you?
I’m optimistic. I think Bob is caring about his body more. He’s gotten himself some pills which he thinks will help him get stronger and more in balance. I think his willingness to do something about his state of health is a good thing. I just wish he’d eliminate sugar and cut down on his alcohol intake. But I wouldn’t say that to him. Also, he’s committed to personal training once a week, spending another hour or so at the gym on another day of the week, and walking several times a week. That’s all good. We walked the other day and he’s definitely moving better and seems less wobbly. I think the illnesses of some of our friends have gotten his attention. They’ve certainly gotten my attention.
I used to say I’d probably be ready to give up my health program as I got older, but I don’t think so anymore – given all my friends’ illnesses. I’m also inspired by Ruth Bader Ginsberg who still works out at age eight-five and the 95-year old woman pictured here doing the splits. So no, I’m not going to give up my health program – I’m going to continue working out every day like I always do. I will also continue to eat healthy. My husband’s breakfast this morning practically turned my stomach – two huge donuts, one jelly filled and one cream filled. Please spare me. Sugar and I just don’t get along.
Another thing that is important to my mental well-being is to get more social. I need to make more lunch for me and dinner dates and for Bob and me. We need to get out more instead of plopping ourselves down in front of the television screen every night at six to watch two hours of news. And while we’re watching we drink – after all the news these days drives us to drink. What is also unhealthy is eating dinner at eight. Every night by the time we finish and do the dishes it’s time for bed – and on a full stomach which is not very conducive for a good night’s sleep.
So, I’m going to reach out more. it’s not as though we don’t have any friends. We do. We just don’t see them often enough. Months go by with me just sitting at my desk writing, then going upstairs and lying down on the couch reading and napping, not even going to the grocery store. I need some of my Costco staples very badly, but for me even doing that shopping is a chore. I always put it off to the last minute.
I also see us staying in our house – unless the stairs – we have a tri-level home with three flights of eight stairs – become a major issue for one of us. We spoke to our neighbors about it and they want to move. They say their house, which is next door and has the same floor plan as ours, is too big for them, and they don’t like the stairs. He complained about having to go from the back bedroom – where he has his office – all the way upstairs to their bedroom if he forgets something. That made me laugh. It’s only sixty steps down the long hall so probably no more than one hundred and twenty steps all the way to his bedroom. I told him how sorry I felt for him, and he’s at least ten years younger than me. Actually, I welcome the steps. I wear a Fitbit so I’m always glad to get more. I’ve even upped the ante at the gym. Most days now I’m on the elliptical for thirty minutes and the treadmill for thirty more, so by the time I get home I’m at almost eleven thousand steps. And I always park in a space in the gym lot that’s the farthest distance from the entrance. Even today – a rainy day – I didn’t park close to the gym entrance.
The only other reason we’d sell this house is when one of us dies. I know I wouldn’t want to live here by myself. It is really too big for just the two of us, but we’ve turned two bedrooms into our offices, so it doesn’t seem so because of the way we live here now.
I’d also like us to travel more. Bob says he wants to go to Barbados, which doesn’t interest me that much, but of course I’d go. But I’d be interested in going there on a cruise that would allow us to stay there a day or two on the front or back end. I think cruising is the way to go at our age, where our luggage would be taken care of and we wouldn’t have to pack and go from place to place if we traveled by land. I saw a commercial about the Computer Technology Day going on in Los Angeles today and it showed a piece of luggage that is programmed to go on its own and not have to be lugged around. It actually can follow the owner. Now that’s a thing we ought to have to make traveling easier. Still we always check bags on any flights. There is no way either one of us can hoist even our small bags into overhead bins on airplanes, and there’s no way I’d beg the strong persons around us to help. That’s just too rude.
Then there’s my work at home. I must do is go through my computer files and delete, delete, delete, and go through my hard copy files and delete, delete, delete there as well. Also, I still see more writing and reading in my future. I’ve taken the Goodreads challenge to read twenty-five books again this year. Last year I read twenty-seven or twenty-eight, so I know it’s doable. Another goal for me is to finish this new memoir this year – that is if you think it’s worth doing the work.
I like the journal-like memoir. This would work for me if you bring in scenes from the large world—neighborhood, the seasons, flashbacks. In time, what I appreciate is if you will be able to bring in more of a sense of having “digested” the material so that while remaining personal it takes on a universal quality. That, of course, is a rewriting task. Yes, this is worth the effort. I’m in.
Thank you so much, Denis. I always appreciate your wise comments. I’ll definitely take your advice when I’m in the rewrite mode.
I’m so glad you’re in. All best.
Balance in mind, body, and spirit is my goal.
I walk every day, challenge my mind-body via Feldenkrais, and journal.
I’m a science guy. I read non-fiction mostly because fiction can be so inexact.
With time to consider my mortality, I attend to my thoughts about death and dying.
Along with the anxiety, I experience deep wonder, most often outside. It is a powerful juxtaposition.
But I am undeniably growing old, adrift at the margins of 21st century life.
And that is what is the hardest for me – that I am no longer a player.
Blessings to you and Bob, but not the donuts.
Dear Doug, thank so much for always reading my stuff. It is so helpful to know about your thoughts. Yes, I spend a lot of time thinking about death and dying too. In fact I’ve written about it in this new memoir – toward the end of the book. And it’s hard not to be a player anymore. That’s why I keep writing. So glad you journal – I do too, everyday. Blessings to you as well.
It’s worth it. Keep writing. Your words are always relatable.
Thank you Mo! I love your support.
I like the idea of writing a journal-style memoir, and I agree with Denis’ comments about taking in the wider world as well. I don’t understand what it means “not to be a player” anymore. Would someone please define?