Meditation and I have never really stretched into a lazy, warm silence. My brain doesn’t know how to be turned off by regular breathing. Instead, my mind pours out and doesn’t allow me to shut down. As much as I try and I try now more than ever, I cannot just listen to my regular breathing. I even try saying Ohm and counting my breaths, but I even lose the ability to concentrate on that. I say Ohm 1, Ohm 2, Ohm 3, and by then I’m thinking about the noises I hear outside and the chores I haven’t finished and the writing work I’ve either just finished or need to finish. And then I try counting my Ohms again. And my brain of course interrupts again. But I never say no to a meditation session – even the sound bath technique has come into play. I want to be successful at it, so I don’t give up. No matter how many times I unsuccessfully try, I’m willing to try again. The only thing that scares me is going to a meditation retreat where people sit and meditate for hours in the … [Read more...]
Three more poems
Thankfully I can still write my daily short poems. It's a way for me to look inside a bit and record my thoughts and goings on since my husband Bob died. Today would have been his eighty-fourth birthday. I can't even begin to tell you how much a miss celebrating with him as I did for the last fifty-three years. Here are three newish draft poems. My Days Even when I add A chore or two To shake up my day It still ends The same way. Eating dinner in front Of the television As I watch a movie. I watch one each night Some good, some bad But it’s a diversion Which I need more And more of these days. I don’t know how To get out of this rut. And when I study it Real closely, I don’t think I ever will. My husband is gone And the void he left In my life will never Go away. And nowadays I want to yell and scream At him for leaving me. Even though he couldn’t help Getting so sick,. He needed to get well And not leave me this way. My Mercedes Is … [Read more...]
A new published poem plus
I'm pleased that the Story Circle Journal has published my new poem, Writing My Truths in response to their submission topic Silence. I certainly recommend my women writer friends to look into joining the Story Circle Network: for women with stories to tell. This group has been very supportive of my work. Here's a little description from its website: The Story Circle Network is an international not-for-profit membership organization made up of women who want to document their lives and explore their personal stories through journaling, memoir, autobiography, personal essays, poetry, drama, and mixed-media. Writing My Truths I have a new room. I write in there alone. I sit at my draftsman table, looking out the bay window to the garden. I see the trunks of the three palm trees, the small cement pond, and the ferns swinging their leaves behind it. Sometimes a bird comes by for a drink, surfing along the top of the pool. Yet, I don't open the window to … [Read more...]