Even though I’m writing about laziness today – another writing group prompt – I’ve been far from lazy. With escrow closing on the sale of my house in forty-three days, I have to stay busy with the clearing out of the things I’ve accumulated for over forty-two years. It’s a horrendous job. Nobody should have to do it. So, no wonder I like the idea of laziness. These days I find myself wanting to nap at almost any time of day.
For most of my life I was an early riser. Sometimes getting up as early as four thirty so I could workout at the gym before having to get ready for and go to work. That kind of schedule became a habit for me.
Now that I’m not working, I still get up to workout before starting the rest of my day, but I’ve become a little more lazy about it. Sometimes I’ll set my alarm for six thirty, sometimes seven, sometimes seven thirty, and sometimes I don’t set it at all. Most days however, I wake up on my own in the dark of the morning way before my intended wake time. But after a few minutes, I will myself to go back to sleep. I consider that sleep the height of my laziness. In those old days, once awake I’d immediately get up to begin my day.
I also spend a lot of lazy time during the day, giving myself permission to take a nap at almost any time. I read for a while, but then once the book starts leaning toward my lap, I give up, shut the book, and go to sleep. And this lazy behavior sometimes happens more than once,
I like the idea of lazy meditation. I’m not very good at meditation practice but doing it the lazy way is very appealing. It gives me permission to nap even in the midst of an OM. It gives me permission to breathe and count my breaths for as long as I can stay awake. It gives me permission to be here now whenever the moment moves me.
The only problem is: accepting my new lazy life and not feel guilty about it. I’m usually a doer and if I haven’t accomplished what I think is enough in a day, I chastise myself. That comes from years of bowing to a work schedule and not giving myself room to just be. But for sure I’m going to work on it. It’s part of moving on.
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