The Huffington Post had an article yesterday about Jane Fonda's facelift complete with before and after photos, and a few weeks ago it reported that she was going to release an exercise DVD for the boomer generation next year. Well, Jane and I go way back. When we returned from Kwajalein, a Marshall Island, in the late 1970s I was used to exercising regularly I had played tennis every day and had begun a running program, but I hadn't yet started doing aerobics. I started that with the advent of the Jane Fonda tapes. I played tennis and I did aerobics with Jane. And that became a habit. Then once we joined the Manhattan Country Club in the early 1980s I began taking aerobics classes there and working out in the weight room and of course the rest is history. I work out every day now. I don't even want to think about which days I work out and which days I don't. I just work out every day. Of course I don't take aerobics anymore not even step aerobics but like today, I did 35 … [Read more...]
What I do instead of write
I'm not doing so well with my novel project. I've begun to develop my characters and do a little research about where they come from and where they end up living. But, so far no writing. And of course I have no excuse. I've sat myself down at my computer this afternoon with the full intent to rectify that and what do I do, I futz around with emails, submission guidelines for poetry contests, and searching for ways to get my friends to vote for my More magazine reinvention story. Nothing has really been done to move along my novel writing since I completed the UCLA workshop two weeks ago. But, I have gone to a few movies lately and thought about beginnings, middles, and endings the stuff of novels I was taught so it's not that I haven't been thinking about it. For example, Valentine's Day had a great beginning that introduced all the many characters in the film, it had lots of funny and even poignant middle scenes, and an ending that pulled all the threads together. Some pulling … [Read more...]
Back on the positive side
Well, even though writing a novel does takes such a long time, I might as well get started. I'll kick myself if I live to be a lucid 100-year old and not have done it. (My mother lived to 94 so I have a good chance.) Plus, I'm already thinking about the research I'll need. I was in the downtown shoe repair shop this morning before work, and it is just about how I remember my grandfather's - small, old equipment, dirty, bags of repaired shoes on a shelf behind the counter, and shoe-related stuff for sale on the opposite wall - all with that strong waxy boot black smell. At some point in the book I'll have to describe the shoe repair shop of one of the main characters, and there, right in the downtown of my home town, I have a model. I bet the owner would love an acknowledgement in my book. … [Read more...]
So should I tackle writing a novel or not?
The 4-day Writing the First Novel workshop was great. Jessica Barksdale Inclan, the instructor and a romance novelist, has an uncanny way of giving notes on our writing without taking many notes herself. She got to know all of the nine women in the workshop, and our writing styles, our writing needs, and the stories we are telling in record time. I think that is a real talent. Plus, she has real enthusiasm for the craft that comes out full force as she speaks in her wonderful dramatic style. I'm going to have her as a guest blogger here very soon, so watch out for reminders about that. But, right now I'm in a quandary about whether to actually sit down and do the work of writing a novel after all. I'm way older than the rest of the people in the class. Those folks, all very talented, have the time. I don't know if I do. It's great to be this ambitious, and I might kick myself if I don't do it especially if I still have a lucid mind for the next 10 years or so, but should I use what … [Read more...]
At the movies
At the end of every year I spend a lot of time at the movies. The end of 2009 was no different. And, having a 12 day break between Christmas eve and January 4, 2010 helped a lot. My goal is to catch up on the latest releases because those are the ones that are likely to get the Academy Award nominations. So, here's the list of movies I've seen lately, not counting those I've seen via Netflix (by the way, I recommend them all -- even the panned Nine if only for Daniel Day Lewis and his bevy of beauties): The Blind Side Precious An Education Up in the Air Invictus Brothers It's Complicated Sherlock Holmes Nine And, here's the list of those I still want to see: Avatar Up Where the Wild Things Are The Serious Man A Single Man Me and Orson Wells The Young Victoria Bright Star Sugar The Road (maybe) So, you can see I'm ready to go to the movies at any given moment . Give a holler and you can join me. … [Read more...]
Remembering those killed at Fort Hood
Last week a military psychiatrist opened fire at the Fort Hood military base in Texas, killing 13 soldiers and wounding another 30. It was a horrific act, and one hard to explain. There are rumors that the attack was terrorist inspired because the killer is a Muslim. And, it also could be explained away by post traumatic stress which is now running rampant in the military. The memorial service was held yesterday with President Obama speaking. In reporting the event, one of the news people called the survivors the walking wounded, an expression someone used for me many years ago. It refers to those of us who have lost children. This killing touched me closely young people dead, mourning parents, and all the possible result of mental illness. It just never ends. And, it always makes me cry. Let's not forget our military on this Veteran's Day. … [Read more...]
Speaking of choices
A friend sent me the following via email. It is worth the read and definitely worth passing on. Two Choices What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued.. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to … [Read more...]
Another poem for day 29
A poem from the 1999 volume Black Wings & Blind Angels, by Sapphire, who is also a novelist. (Her novel Push has recently been made as a movie entitled "Precious," a winner at Sundance which will be released in November.) Some Different Kinda Books I She asks why we always read books about black people. (I spare her the news she is black.) She wants something different. Her own book is written in pencil. She painstakingly goes back & corrects the misspelled words. We write each day. Each day the words look like a retarded hand from Mars wrote them. Each day she asks me how do you spell: didn't, tomorrow, done husband, son, learning, went, gone . . . I can't think of all the words she can't spell. It's easier to think of what she can spell: MY NAME IS CARMEN LOPEZ. I am sorry I was out teacher. My husband was sick. You know I never miss school. In that other20program I wasn't learning nothing. Here, I'm learning so I come. What's wrong with my … [Read more...]
More poems post no. 1 — it’s about time
It's time to post some poems -- both old and new. This one came from an exercise at a UCLA class called "Misbehaving Poems." But, no worries. You had to be there! Beware. More to follow. Star Fishing Today I want to tell you about variable stars. They intrigue me because they change. They change in brightness. Some repeat cycles with almost clocklike precision others change irregularly. Some require only hours or days to return to their starting brightness. Others require years to change. Yet, whether they change imperceptibly or violently all variable stars change. The most spectacular variable is the Nova. It can get up to 200,000 times brighter than the Sun. But, alas, it is temporary. It periodically blows off a tiny percent of the Sun's mass at speeds up to 600 miles a second until it loses too much mass to continue. Whereas Supernovas brighten up to 10 billion times the Sun's brightness for a few days and then fade away forever. One more … [Read more...]
Diverting the old dreaded feeling
When the first word you think of upon wakening is "dread," when you're feeling so down about what's happening to our country and our ecomonmy you wake up in pure fright with a pit deep in your stomach, it's definitely time to go out among em and find as many diversions as possible. Well, that was me this weekend, and divert I did. Yesterday we saw/heard the LA Opera's production of Wagner's "Das Rheingold." This was probably the opera's most creative productions ever. The set, the costumes, the acting, the colors, the whimsy were like ear and mind candy. I wasn't sure at first whether to like it or not. And in the end, I knew I loved it. I wanted more. Now though I want to see this same opera as it was intended by Wagner. I guess I'll have to wait to see a more classic version in Vienna or Berlin or Munich. By contrast we saw Pippin on Saturday night at the Mark Taper Forum. It was awful. There was not one memorable song in the production, the singing and dancing were mediocre, … [Read more...]
Choices revisited
I heard a radio interview yesterday on KCRW with Steven Soderbergh, whose new film "Che" has just been released. Elvis Mitchell of The Treatment made the comment that he thought the film was about characters making choices too late. Steven then quoted a line from his film "Solaris" written by a friend of his: "There are no answers, only choices." I really resonnated with that. He went on to say, "...at the end of the day...all that you do have are your choices and those are the only answers you're going to get....You're never going to find the pattern in pi. It's not going to happen. You're probably be happier if you accept that..." Yes, I can relate; hence my sense when I started this blog, of how important the choices I make in the years to come are. … [Read more...]
The year 2008 — a short review
Here's the letter that will go in with our holiday cards -- that is unless Bob bleeds all over it with his red pen.... The death of my brother, Ken, this year made the importance of seeing and keeping in touch with friends and family even more important. So, this was a year of reconnection with friends in town, in Ojai and Santa Barbara, in New York at Bob's 50th Cooper Union reunion, in Washington State, in Colorado Springs at the Kwajalein reunion, and in Chicago and Winnetka for my 50th New Trier High School reunion. We also visited family in the Washington DC area and New York twice, made a brief trip to my sister's home in Oregon, and of course visited Denver many times before and after Ken's death. Going to Denver became like going across town on the shuttle bus. Besides all these little trips we worked hard and sometimes very long still on proposals to procure contracts worth billions of dollars for Northrop Grumman. For leisure we saw our fill of movies, … [Read more...]
A little success story
I got word yesterday that Memoir (and) has accepted two of my poems for its February 2009 edition. I submitted at the end of July and promptly forgot about it. Could that be why I woke at 3 am and couldn't fall back to sleep? All the excitement? Well, I'm sure feeling the results of that now. Anyhow, I spoke with the editor and she sounds fantastic and very willing to help get me exposure. She's putting a link to my blog in my bio and links to my other poetry sites at Mamazine and The Emerging Goddess in the bio that will appear online. Who knows, maybe she'll think of someone for my memoir. In the meantime, I'm very excited she'll publish the two poems, "The Last Night" and "Thursday Morning" posted on my blog September 22 and September 18. She thinks of them as a pair I certainly had never thought of that. But, of course, it makes perfect sense. … [Read more...]
My sentiments exactly
I keep thinking I'll stop with the political posts already. But, here's another one I couldn't resist. When I saw the article copied below this morning, I felt I wanted to preserve it for posterity -- as a lesson learned for future women candidates. We treated both Hillary and Sarah poorly, and now we women must gather together to find a way for a woman to succeed in the future. That women pundits were so mean spirited about Hillary was unconscionable, and that the unqualified Sarah was chosen as a vice presidential candidate in the first place did her and our country a huge disservice. Here's what one op ed writer had to say today: OPINION Feminism, post-election Sexism persists; witness Clinton's treatment and Palin's nomination. By Vivian Gornick November 9, 2008 For a second-wave feminist like myself, this election year has been a roller-coaster ride: exciting, and sick-making, and yet again exciting. We have seen an eminently qualified woman contend for a presidential … [Read more...]
The day after
I know I said this wouldn't be a political blog. But I couldn't help myself again today. This is the day after Election Day. This is the day to celebrate. This is the day to rejoice that the Republican right wing conservatives will no long lead our country into ruin. This is the day to move forward into a renewed future led by the first black American president of the United States.This is indeed a day that all of America and the world will remember. But, I must admit I was for Hillary. I wanted there to be a first woman president before the first black American. Obama is young, I thought. He could have waited. This was perhaps Hillary's last chance and because she didn't win this time, because she got so much flack from her fellow feminists, I doubt that another woman of her caliber will give it a try for quite some time. And, even though I was a huge Hillary fan, I went full force for Barack. I had to. There was no other choice. I even worked in the phone bank for him once. … [Read more...]
Quote of the week — or maybe the century
I went to the Governor's Women's Conference last Tuesday (October 22, 2008) hosted by Maria Shriver. It's my third time going to this event held every year at the Long Beach Convention Center, and each year the line up of celebrities and the numbers of people attending get bigger and better. This year we heard Warren Buffet, Madeleine Albright, Gloria Steinem, Condeleeza Rice, Billie Jean King, Bonnie Raitt, Bono, Cherie Blair, and a host of others who were on panels in the smaller break-out sessions. I had to practically push my way in to hear the panel Madeleine Albright was on, but it was well worth it. One of the topices was women serving as both vertical and horizontal mentors and helpers to other women just starting out and trying to make a success out of their lives. Madeleine said: "There should be a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." What a concept. I've seen so many women at my company hold back other women from advancing. I've seen so many … [Read more...]
September 11, 2001
Before this month is over, I need to reflect on September 11, 2001. I was in a poetry workshop at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA in late September that year and was asked to write a poem about how it felt. I could only write it in terms of how it compared to Paul's death. Compassion, sympathy, empathy -- whatever the right word is -- I have it for all those who lost their loved ones in that horrific and terrifying event. Tragedy in Perspective They say the poets need to retell the story To find meaning in the devastation, the incineration Of 3,000 people. We are The ones who can make the world feel better With the beauty of our words. But, I can't find the meaning All I can see is the grief, the disbelief, the yearning, Searching looks on the relatives, friends, colleagues Wanting to know why their loved ones Vanished so quickly Just like they were sucked up by a UFO A tornado, an avalanche Never to be heard from or seen again. Perhaps if I compare this … [Read more...]
Picking up the pieces
So, instead of moving, instead of getting that "fresh" house, we began to renovate. I got rid of the scene of the crime first, then I took his bedroom and closet and turned them into a beautiful office where I'm sitting right now writing this, and we moved boxes and boxes of things we cannot part with into the garage. All the boxes are meticulously labeled and arranged in deference to him. Demolition Bathroom We don't have to look into that room anymore and wonder if spots of blood still remain on the floors and walls. We've demolished the scene of the crime. We will no longer step into that tub and see Paul in his white long sleeved work shirt and khaki pants sitting against the shower door in a bloody puddle. They've taken it all away. The old aqua blue tub the toilet, and sinks. the faux marble counter with burn stains from the tiny firecrackers he set off as a teenager. The god-awful blue and yellow vinyl flooring is gone. Sterile white tiles and … [Read more...]
I’m out of there!
It's hard to imagine that I actually chose to work on a proposal rather than continue to work on my temporary Customer Relations job. Although the actual work was interesting I got to interact with a lot of customer reps and my company's top brass, and I had an excellent working relationship with a few of the people in the department, I just couldn't stand the boss. She is the personification of a micromanager. Even her boss characterizes her as a person who only hires people she can control because she is so insecure. Well, I decided I wouldn't let her control me, and I did that by gracefully taking my leave of her department. I sent her off a very inoffensive email today telling her that Friday is my last day. And, my excuse was I am needed on a must-win proposal. And that's the truth! I didn't burn any bridges, and I even got in a few kudos for a couple of the people who work for her whom she doesn't value in the least. What I'll never understand is that she hasn't realized she … [Read more...]
